Just as a followup, on yesterday's post. First of all, I knew some would misunderstand what I was trying to express and sure enough you did. That's ok. But I want it to be clear that not having nutritious healthy food around is not my problem at all. As I refuse to look at food as "good" or "bad" my snack box has a variety of options for me to choose from. The choices I made were what I made at the time.
Yesterday morning as I was gathering my lunch and snacks, I made the decision that I would eat whatever I'd packed, whether I wanted it or not. Maybe that's not the best way to go about it but I it was what I chose. I ended up feeling a whole lot better than I have been lately. Which made my Muay Thai class last night way easier to get through. Not that it was easy. But doing 250 crunches when you don't have a stomachache & headache is a lot easier than if you do.
This has been such an odd week for a variety of reasons. Instead of feeling like summer is wrapping up and I can look forward to a couple months of structure before the Holiday craziness sets in, it has felt all over the place.
My days are filled with a whole lot of nothingness as my employers still can't decide what to do with me. The anniversary of my bosses death is October 31st which means I've been on standby for almost a year. While I've been looking around, as we all know, maybe the only thing as bad as the job market is the housing market.
A good friend experienced a very serious choking episode this week. This was his post:
"Very lucky to be alive. I would have choked to death if not for the Heimlich Manuever performed by our friend James, who knew it from his Army days. Even then, I could barely breath and could not clear the obstruction until our friend Cathy, a nurse, gave me instruction what to do. My throat is very sore, and I am still a bit in shock, but I am grateful to my friends."
He choked on a piece of canteloupe.
After my initial shock as I read through his comments I saw this one: You scared the heck out of us ... and we are all in awe of James now. But remember what I told you, this ain't no dress rehearsal, go buy the Blue Ray or whatever the heck it's called and every stinking accessory and enjoy it.
I was once again immediately reminded of how short, sweet, and precious life is. It isn't a dress rehearsal, it's the only life you get. I want to live like I am dying and not have regrets and experience big things, but I'm not sure how to balance all that with our finances as they currently are.
We have been hit with many bank account draining things this year and as we are not people who live by credit card, things are quite tight. So even though there are endless possibilities for the weekend: a benefit dance for the homeless, a"Taste" featuring a bunch of restaurants, and the local fairs are starting; everything except staying home and cooking our own meals costs money. Normally I don't fret over these things but when Mr. Helen does and says it out loud, it makes me fret too. I've always had a huge fear of being a working poor person. Now maybe you understand why I go to work day after day to a job where they don't know what to do with me.
I am aware that one of the areas I wanted to work on in 2010 was being able to not need so much structure and to fly by the seat of my pants more often. Be careful what you wish for because it feels like I've had NO structure lately - that all my best laid plans have been ripped right out from under me. It's disconcerting and I don't like it.
And now as I go back through this for proofreading, it seems that what I'm really looking for is balance - in all areas. That's a tricky one, isn't it?