But sometimes our best intentions can be completely derailed, simply because life happens. In these past 4 days I have seen my best intentions with eating and exercise flying about looking for a landing pad. Eating has not been bad per se, just extremely erratic. Exercise, which is about 99% of the time a no miss for me, has become almost non-existent.
Last Thursday my father-in-law was rushed to the emergency room because he was choking and couldn't breathe. Unfortunately he chose to have someone drive him there and not go by ambulance. I say unfortunately because whomever was triaging decided that it would be OK for an 83 year old man to sit in a chair in the emergency room waiting area for almost 3 hours before he was put into a room to be examined. One of my husband's cousins who is a nurse agreed that ER's are overwhelmed with uninsured/under insured people who walk in and use them as primary care physicians but she also stated that the triage nurse should know the difference between a person who cannot breathe and a person who may have a cold, flu, or strep throat.
It took another 6 hours before he was properly diagnosed and decision made to admit him. I suspect the only reason it didn't take longer is that when the ER nurses had a shift change, a family friend came on as the charge nurse and when she saw what was going on, she pretty much took over his case and advocated to the doctor to get things moving along. She also correctly diagnosed what was happening to him, which probably saved his life.
It took an additional 2 1/2 hours from the decision to admit to actually getting him in the room, which meant from time of arrival at the ER to time of arrival in the bed, it took 11 1/2 hours. There is something very, very wrong with that.
The condition he had is life threatening and though he was admitted and they tried to stabilize him until morning, he almost died in the middle of the night. Finally, an ENT was called in and that doctor immediately put him in the ICU.
As I write this, after 3 days of IV anti-inflammatories and antibiotics he was moved to a respiratory step down unit where he finally got to eat some real food. If he continues to progress he will be allowed to go home, but someone will need to stay with him as this condition can flare up quickly again even though he might still be on meds.
In the midst of all this, Mr. Helen and his siblings have suddenly been thrown into a situation they never hoped would happen: the care of their mother who is in end stage Alzheimer's.
She should have had professional home care or been admitted to a certified nursing facility long before now but my father-in-law insisted on keeping her home. Over the last year he has become progressively exhausted but refused to "give up" on her (his words). I know for a fact that his best intentions were to let her be in her own home until the day she died. He meant well but the facts are that his emotions got in the way of a good decision. In turn, the kids have not known what to do because they have been in the very tenuous position of trying not to parent their parent.
Yet now, the best intentions of everyone have come to this, and the family is in crisis having to make some
As I witnessed the siblings' family meeting last night and saw the stress and emotions flying through the air like acrobats looking for a safety net, it occurred to me that there are times when we all need to lay down our best intentions and recalculate, readjust.
And there's nothing wrong with that.