I call that maintaining and since I "supposedly" want to lose weight and not maintain, the whole thing has been rumbling in my brain all weekend. I mean, I keep paying lip service to weight loss but actions speak louder than words. Even though I know I'm at a very, very dangerous place in this comfort zone I'm in, I can't seem to break out of it. It seems that good enough is good enough.
Ironically (or maybe not if you're a person who believes karma will put you where you need to be), by accident, I caught the beginning of Extreme Makeover Weight Loss Edition (and I say accident because I didn't know that show was on) last night and saw part of the story of Mike who weighed 493 lbs. He was given the opportunity to work with personal trainer Chris Powell for a year to try to lose half his body weight. During the very first workout, Chris ended up walking away after threatening that he would quit because Mike wasn't giving 100%. Mike wasn't even really giving 50% and Chris' attitude is that there are a lot of people who would give a thousand percent to have the opportunity therefore Mike needed to sit and think about what he was going to lose if Chris permanently walked away. Chris explained:
"This whole process is about learning to be uncomfortable and learning to be OK with that. It's mind over body."Right at that moment I felt like he was speaking to me.
You see, I went to my first cycle class for black belt on Saturday and as I've mentioned before I've been pretty nerved up about it. We had a short informational meeting about what the requirements were to pass our test and then we were put through a fitness test so that not only the senseis but also so we could understand where we are and what we need to work on as individuals. It was hard. It was really hard. At one point as we were doing sprints, the instruction was to run to the first station, drop and do a burpee, then come up and do a knee up, run back to base then run to second station, etc. (there were 4 stations). The knee up is not something that is done in Muay Thai - it's a karate move. It consists up jumping straight up in the air while pulling your knees to your chest. I happened to be in a line with all karate students, one of whom is an adult testing for third degree. I looked right at him and said, "Tom, I can't do that. We don't do that in Muay Thai." He responded, "You can do it. Don't say you can't. Watch us, copy what we do, and then remember, it's mind over body." At the end of the class as I was picking up my gear he walked over and said, "Helen, if you hadn't said to me that you couldn't do that move, I would have thought you were a karate student. You did those knee ups perfectly. Your knees came up high, your arms stayed tucked in and you kept your fists right under your chin. I don't ever want to hear the word can't come out of your mouth again." I thanked him and then said maybe it was all the years of watching Mr. Helen.
In any case, I came away Saturday having survived the cycle and knowing that in the next 6 months it was going to be mind over body. To have that reiterated again only confirmed to me what my July goal would be: