Monday, February 20, 2017

Put It Out There

My weekend started off with me feeling a bit discombobulated but ended with a better outlook.

I got some discouraging news on Friday - my thyroid still is not where it should be, but "might be" getting better.  As you can imagine, that makes me want to lay down and put the covers over my head as I wonder if I'll ever catch a break.

Last week we had warmer than usual daytime temperatures, even though it was refreezing at night.  I haven't been able to run outside since we had the 3 snow storms in 4 days so I was quite excited to get up and run Saturday morning, in the daylight, because even if there was a bit of ice, I could see it and maybe get around it.

As it turned out, temps were above freezing but what I wasn't prepared for were the still unshoveled sidewalks and 6-foot tall mounds of snow at the end of sidewalks where the intersections began.  I had intended to go out and run 5 miles but was so discouraged that my run was turning into a frustrating crawl that I cut it short and came home at 3 miles.

WHYYYYYYYY?!!  Why can't my thyroid work and why can't I have a good run and why does everything have to feel so damn hard?

The temps went up to about 50 so there was more melting, which is a good thing though the piles are so deep that it's going to take some time to get rid of them.  If I was a good blogger I'd have gone out and taken some photos so you'd understand what I'm talking about. I still had a busy day and got quite a bit of movement in so I was happy about that since I didn't know what would happen on Sunday.

Sunday the forecast was for even warmer weather - exciting - but I had plans to meet my friend Em for brunch.  Though we keep in touch and live only an hour apart, it has literally been a year since I've seen her and her son, who is now 2.  We had a lovely brunch at Rooster Co., which while not quite farm-to-table, heavily sources ingredients from local farms.  They put a list of the day's farms up that you can see when you walk in.  I had the Eggs Benedict - worth every calorie and some of the best I've ever had.  Maybe it was the crispy pork belly in place of the Canadian bacon!

After brunch, when I got in my car to drive home, the thermometer said it was 64 degrees where I was.  Right then I knew I'd get home, change, and go for a walk even though the temp at home would probably be 10 degrees cooler, especially with the breeze.  It actually was 57 degrees!  On February 19th!

I drove down to my beach and believe it or not, the boardwalk had entire spots still covered in snow. I walked a bit then headed out out of the beach into the neighborhoods since I wanted to walk a couple miles.  While I walked, I listened to Runner's World podcast episode 41: Dreaming Big.

The episode is about Matt Llano who as a 28 year old runner who, after running a 1:01 at the Houston Half Marathon in 2014, boldly pronounced that he was going to transition to marathon running and would beat the record for a debut marathon (2:08).  It didn't happen but the following year he set his (so far) PR of 2:12 and continues to work at that 2:08 time.  The episode also features an installment on David Willey who is Runner's World Editor in Chief and has been trying for decade to qualify to run the Boston Marathon.  He has an opportunity to work with an elite team of trainers and is being poked, prodded and tested and being given a customized training plan.  He calls it his moonshot.

The whole point of the episode is that sometimes we just keep our dreams and goals to ourselves - afraid of failure, or rather having to admit failure.  Matt Llano says he feels when you put it out there it chemically changes your approach to how you're going to make that dream or goal come true. Besides, people are not looking at him and thinking he's stupid because he didn't make the 2:08 - in fact people are admiring that 2:12. He also believes if you don't make the goal right away, something inside you just keeps working at it because you've put it out there.  David Willey says the reason he's even talking about his moonshot is because he believes it will keep him on track. He now believes several of his past attempts were just half-hearted because only he knew, therefore he didn't work hard enough at it.

That really spoke to me.  As a type A personality, I often don't talk about my dreams or goals because I am afraid of failing and everyone knowing it. Of people talking about it.  I'm not sure why it bothers me so much because in general I could care less what people say or think.  They aren't walking in my shoes or living my life.

But, after listening to that podcast, I came home from that walk thinking I should share some of the things ruminating in my mind. Because honestly, just admitting this stuff is "dreaming big" for me.

  • I have 6 weeks until I run a quarter marathon (6.55 miles).  My only dream of this is to finish.  As I mentioned in my last post, all the indoor running (or outdoor with snow piles) this time of year makes it tough for me to even set a time goal.
  • But my other goal attached to that is that I want to weigh 8 pounds less than I do right now.
  • When I got home, I went online and signed up for a 10K on May 21st.  It's a fairly new local race that I have hesitated to run because I'm not the runner I used to be and I will know a lot of the runners there.  But guess what?  Now I don't care.  My dream for this race will be to run it at a faster mile per minute pace than I do the quarter marathon.  I'll let you know what that pace is once I've run the first one.
  • Also attached to that, and also due to the fact that shortly after the second race we will be going to St. Martin to celebrate our 25th anniversary, I want to lose an additional 20 pounds before we go.
It's out there.  Now let's see how I do.