Wednesday, September 2, 2009

I need a plan, Stan.

I need a plan, Stan.

Seriously, after yet another day of consuming too much food, I’m in search of the answer. It seems no matter what I try, I end up overeating every single evening. I guess I’m probably using food for stress release or some such thing; it’s just that I don’t FEEL like I am so I’m not sure how to stop this downward spiral (which equals upward on the scale).

It’s almost like one thing leads to another and before you know it, BAM! Too many calories.

In general, counting calories always worked best for me, but then for 18 months I tracked every single morsel of food eating between 1200-1600 calories per day and didn’t lose one ounce. Such are the trials of a thyroid patient – i.e. calories in/calories out may not equal scale success – but it definitely makes it frustrating and discouraging to be working that hard at something and not see results. Two months ago, my hubby suggested that I just try to eat according to my appetite and eat smaller portions to give myself a break from all that tracking. All I can say is at least I’ve only gained 5 lbs. So, that isn’t working either. Maybe I should be grateful it’s only 5 lbs.

Additionally, I am married to a person who has a fabulous metabolism and does eat whatever, whenever, however. Our differences in our approach to eating have caused many an argument between us. After 20 years, I’m tired of arguing with him so lately I have found myself giving in to “Want to get fish & chips?” “Want to get buffalo wings?” “Let’s get pizza!” “Come on let’s have a cocktail.” See, he can do this every single day and somehow manages to balance his calories and has stayed within 10 lbs. or so of the same weight the entire time I’ve known him. The minute I start giving in to this stuff is the beginning of failure for me. But I don’t want to fight about it and if I keep saying no, he starts with, “Please don’t tell me you’re on ANOTHER diet!” One thing leads to another and well, it’s just not worth it. You married folks know what I mean about picking your battles.

My relationship with my husband is probably my number one reason for not wanting any food to be off limits but I’ve yet to figure out how to manage it all. Sometimes, not knowing that I will get home and he will have made his YUMMY pan fried chicken, I’ve already eaten too many calories to allow for that because I was planning on going home and having a chef salad. If I refuse to eat the dinner he has made, it hurts his feelings. And I do so appreciate that he tries to cook once a week or so. See my dilemma?

Then the cocktails are a whole other story. Why is it that one glass of wine turns into two? It’s like Jesus Christ himself comes and turns the water I should be drinking into wine. Years ago, I never drank at all unless we were out for dinner or at a special occasion yet now I can’t seem to get back there.

I’m writing this and I’m thinking MODERATION. But why can’t I put my writing into action?

Like I said, I need a plan, Stan.

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