Thursday, December 31, 2009

Shooting for the Stars

I  imagine there will be a lot of goal listing and reflecting in blogland today.  Count me in.  Listed here, not necessarily in the order they will be performed are my goals: Shooting for the Stars, 2010 Version

1. To get back on track with nutrition. 2009 slowly spiraled down in this area and I need to remember how good I feel when I eat better and cleaner.
2. To not refuse to let the nurse weigh me at the doctor’s office. Which I have been doing for most of 2009. I’m not even sure why I refuse…
3. To get rid of anything larger than a size 10 and to wear the smaller stuff that is in those storage totes in my closet.
4. To wear size Medium consistently.
5. To not automatically reach for a blanket or a pillow when I'm sitting on the sofa in order to hide my pot belly.
6. To stop dodging cameras when I see them pointed at me.
7. To cut the crap with the alcohol intake. I used to only have an occasional glass of wine or other adult beverage and mostly on Saturday evening if we were out for dinner. That’s what I need to get back to.
8. To keep aiming at my first goal weight, which, ultimately, is 150 (then I’ll see) but I'm not going to set a date. I’ve spent a lot of years putting timeline pressure on myself and since my thyroid stopped working a couple years ago all that has done is make me feel stressed. If 2010 ends up being the year of the 150s great! But if not, no way am I giving up.
9. To, ultimately, weigh less at the end of 2010 than I did at the beginning.
10. To learn how to give myself a break, cut myself some slack. Being so hard on myself isn’t really helping and it may actually be hurting.
11. To cut other people some slack and not be uptight/stressed about things I cannot control.
12. To be more open to flying by the seat of my pants and not so rigid about planning every little thing.
13. To spend less and save more. The saving of $5 bills is working well but I want to try to up the ante so to speak
14. To not be so consumed with weight loss that I forget to enjoy my life and my loved ones.
15. Have a fabulous 50th Birthday. Not sure exactly what I want to do or how I want to celebrate but I want it to be memorable… or maybe even just one more trip to Grand Case, St. Martin, my favorite place in the whole world.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Wrapping It Up

I weighed in today at 184.6. This is a 2.6 lb. gain over the last two weeks and exactly where my weight was when I started blogging. It’s also 7.6 lbs. more than I weighed in January of 2009. I’d call this 100% failure on the weight loss front. Most of it is my fault. I started to develop an “I don’t give a damn” attitude because I have been trying since March of 2008 to lose 20 lbs. and swing wildly between giving it my all and giving up. I have been reflecting of this quite a bit over the last couple of weeks and tomorrow I will be posting some things I’ll be reaching for in 2010. I would say some are weight related and some are not but that’s not quite true. It’s all weight related for me I think.

My Hot 100 Wasn’t A Perfect 10

Steve set up a great challenge for us for the last 100 days of 2009 – The Hot 100. I decided to participate and even as I watched myself fail, I learned a whole lot about myself. Here is what I was trying to achieve:

1. Keep the alcohol intake to a minimum.
2. Track my food intake and keep it at 1500 calories or less as a weekly average.
3. Lose 6 pounds in the remaining weeks of 2009.
4. Advance to my next belt in Thai Boxing, which means I have to have perfect attendance and learn the material.

The absolute only thing I was successful on since my last update is that I did receive my next belt in Thai Boxing. Which I am proud of, for sure.

Overall for the entire Hot 100 Challenge I would give myself about a 50% success rate, but obviously giving it your all only 50% of the time doesn’t get you anywhere! Big lesson learned.

Thankfully, I have another chance as Steve has set up a fantastic challenge to get our New Year on track! The Perfect 10 Challenge so named because it is the first challenge of 2010, it is 10 weeks long, and during the course of the challenge we will learn 10 new things about the other participants. On top of that, there’s a fabulous prize for the random winner so go check it out.

My goals for the Perfect 10 Challenge (January 1-March 12, 2010):

  1.  Track my food. If I can’t get to a computer to do it, I’m going to write it in a notebook I will be carrying in my purse. As much as I get sick of doing this, I have to. It’s the only way I know to be completely honest about what I’m doing.
  2. Lose 8 pounds. These exact numbers are tough for me because my thyroid doesn’t always cooperate but I need to reach for something! Besides it will get me back to where I started 2009, as sad as that is.
  3. Run a minimum of 20 miles per week. This can be a tough one for me in the winter (when I'm not training for a race) because I have to put in more treadmill miles than anyone would ever want to ordinarily. But since I’d really like to consider doing some sort of road race in 2010, I need to make sure 20 miles a week is my minimum. 25+ would be better but since I’ve been averaging around 17 or 18 lately, 20 is my goal.
  4. Water: 64 oz. a day. Last year my doc changed some of my meds and for some reason the switch caused me to stop wanting to drink water. I know that sounds completely nutty but I honestly can trace my lack of water issue right back to that switch. I know I can do it, I just have to do it.  Period.
I know these are some pretty basic goals but based on how 2009 is ending for me, I need to get back to basics.

Finally, I'd like to say, I’m really grateful I discovered blogging, simply for the connection that it gives me with the rest of you. Even when I don’t comment, I do read and suck in encouragement from the things you write. Those who have struggled encourage me because I’m in the same boat and yet, we haven’t given up. That’s definitely something. Those who have had awesome success, like Steve, Sean, Jack, Fat DaddyKari and Shelley encourage me because I know eventually I’m going to be where you are. So thank you one and all - whether I mentioned you or not, you are the best! Here's to finding our Perfect 10 in 2010!

Monday, December 28, 2009

Bad Bad Blogger!

Hello blogland.  A quick update since my last pre-Christmas post then I'm off to read all your blogs.  I am interested to see if the daily bloggers kept it up.  I don't think I've been near the computer since around the 23rd because we were so busy.  Thankfully I get my email on my phone so I didnt' miss anything really important.

The visit with the daughter was lovely and hectic, as usual.  It seems like whenever she makes it home it's always for an event so we don't have much down time.  She spent way too much on gifts but I have to keep my mouth shut because she IS 30 years old and it's her money to spend! 

Christmas dinner was great:  I roasted a whole beef tenderloin (that's filet mignon, if you don't know) and made a fat free gravy as well as a fat full gorgonzola sauce to put on it.  Served with green beans, smashed red potatoes and homemade rolls.  My mother brought her blueberry salad and that made our meal.  No dessert.  Which was OK since my daughter and I shared a whole bottle of Prosecco so I definitely got some calories there.

Thankfully I kept up my exercise, working out every day except Christmas because the day after Christmas I lost it with the hors d'oeuvres and sweets at my hubby's family gathering.  Bad BAD BAD blogger.  Sigh.  Honestly, my stomach has been upset since Saturday but I won't groan and complain because it's my own damn fault!

I need to get together my personal and weight loss goals for 2010 and commit them to paper this week.  Anyone else working on that?

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Merry Christmas Darlings, Happy New Year Too!

A quick post to wish all my bloggy friends Happy Holidays.

I got up again today and ran on the TM.  That makes 3 days in a row.  I plan on taking Christmas off (hahahaha!). The garage temperature has dropped to 20 because it's so cold here.  Supposedly by the weekend it will be 45 and raining but there's so much snow I don't know when I'm going to be able to run safely outside again.  Boo Hoo!

The daughterly unit had a horrific trip home yesterday.  It should be around 6 1/2 to 7 hours driving and it took 11.  I was already in bed when she got in but hubby was up and said she was was unhappy daughterly unit.  It wasn't her fault and she was at the mercy of others so I know she was frustrated.  But, at least she's home safe and sound and we'll try to enjoy the few days we have together.

So that's it for me peeps.  I know I'll be back at least once to do a Hot 100 update (Steve?  How many more do I need to do?) but other than that I don't plan to be on the computer much after today for a bit.

I hope you all are blessed with Peace and Love and Joy over the next days and in the year to come!

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Treadmill Tuesday

I got up at 4:15 this morning and was out the door at 4:45 for my run. (Gotta have my coffee first!) Unfortunately due to the early winter blizzard we got over the weekend I had to hit the treadmill.  My little city that I live in actually had to keep schools closed yesterday because there was so much plowing and sidewalk clearing to do that it wasn't safe for the kids - no place to wait for the bus.  Plus a lot of the kids walk and they would have had to walk in the street.

So, out the door to the treadmill?  Yes, because my treadmill is in my unheated garage!  It was 16 degrees with the windchill fluctuating between 2 and 9 this morning. In the garage it was a balmy 28 degrees - ha!  Actually, it's not so bad because though it's cold, there is no wind.  Plus I put a little space heater right next to the TM and keep my legs warm. 

Anyway, got my run done and as usual was glad I did once it was all over.

My daughter was supposed to arrive today but emailed us yesterday to say that she wouldn't be coming until Wednesday.  She lives in the DC area which also got 18 inches of snow and since they closed all the federal offices yesterday, she couldn't finish up the work she needed to do before leaving.  It's too bad that her arrival is delayed because she'll still have to leave on Sunday.

I don't know about the rest of you but my schedule feels off this week.  So much so that this morning I looked through some old running logs and discovered this phenomena hits me every year right around this time.  Things start to go screwball and it seems to take until the New Year to get back into a routine.  I keep having to remind myself that it's OK!

If you are struggling a little bit too and missed Jack Sh*t's Post May Your Days Be Merry and Bright, go read it right now.  Or, if you've read it once, re-read it.  It will remind you that we are human after all and life happens.

Monday, December 21, 2009

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas...

Hello Blogland - Happy Christmas Week!

Count me in among the snowed in. As you know, I took Friday off from work and spent almost the whole day getting most of my Christmas cookies/baking done. Thankfully I did make myself do a quick run while some of the dough chilled because it turned out to be a very busy day. When I heard the weather forecast I made myself go out around 3 p.m. and get my mother's Christmas gift started.

Friday night I had my first "live" test for my Orange belt in Muay Thai. It was nerve wracking standing there with all the sensei's watching me. Not to mention my sweet hubby sitting in the front row of spectator seats snapping pictures. BUT I DID IT! Just refer to me as Ms. Orange, thank you.

Saturday I got up and ran in the 19 degree temps. I wore my new Brooks running pants which I l-o-v-e! Still a very cold run though. Then I went out and finished my mom's gift, picked up my last gift for my famiy exchange and went home to wait for the storm. A big one was predicted - unusual for the coastal area I live in.

Yesterday we spent 4 hours digging out our driveway. I think it was around 2 feet plus the drifts because it blew like a blizzard and snowed all Saturday night and Sunday morning. The whole time dh was complaining that he didn't listen to me last year and buy himself a snow blower. Good thing he didn't because that's what I bought him for Christmas. It is sitting in his father's garage. I thought about giving it to him early but we still would have had to dig out the driveway to get to it so no point. Boy will he be surprised on Christmas day!

I supposed all that shoveling counts as exercise, right?

I have caught up on the blog reading I've missed over the weekend but I didn't respond to any because I'm late. I see that many of you are managing your holidays with great grace. I am happy to say that I haven't eaten so many cookies that I have a stomach ache. I've also managed to keep the Chex Mix munching to one handful. I know that sounds silly but it's a pretty big victory for me and very different from holidays past. Hopefully we ALL can keep it up for the rest of the week!

Friday, December 18, 2009

Mmmmmm cooookies!

Hello kids. I knew the title would at least make you look!

I took today off to do some baking. Believe it or not, because I love to cook so much, it's a treat for me and I find it relaxing. I just finished baking 5 different kinds of Christmas cookies and I haven't even tasted one! Now I must rush out to the store because our forecast for tomorrow has turned into 6-8 inches of snow. Granted I live near the coast so it might be a non-event but rarely do they forecast snow for us and nothing inland and that's what's happening now. Poor hubby is a butcher and he called me around 1:00 to ask if I'd seen the forecast because he was trying to figure out why his store was swamped. I have a feeling he'll come home tired and glad to see the cookies.

Before I take off I wanted to do my Hot 100 update for the last week. Here are my goals:

1. Keep the alcohol intake to a minimum.
2. Track my food intake and keep it at 1500 calories or less as a weekly average.
3. Lose 6 pounds in the remaining weeks of 2009.
4. Advance to my next belt in Thai Boxing, which means I have to have perfect attendance and learn the material.

1. The only time I drank at all this last week was Wednesday evening when a group from my job went out for our annual Christmas get together. I call that keeping it to a minimum and I also call that a pass.

2. Weekly intake average was 1547 so that's a fail but I'm okay with it what with the extras I've had to deal with this week.

3. Sadly, as I said last week, this isn't going to happen unless some sort of Christmas miracle takes place. But I did lose the pound I had gained the previous week so I'm good.

4. Tonight's the night I make this goal. I have my very first ever "LIVE" test. Meaning I have to stand in front of my senseis and an audience and take my test. Assuming I don't completely lose it I will be an orange belt sometime around 7 p.m.

All in all a pretty good week, even with the holiday rush. Now I must go rushing off so I'll have to be back later to catch up on my blog reading!

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Too Busy for a Picture

Quick post  - busy day!

Weigh in today 182. (Sorry no photo, no time again this morning.) That's a pound and I'll take it but I thought I might have gotten 2 this week since I had that weird gain last week.  On the other hand, the way my weight has been bouncing around I'm beginning to wonder if I'll ever see 2 or 3 lb. weeks again.  Hmmm....

On another note, if you haven't seen her post yet go visit Fat Free Me immediately - she has made her goal!!!!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Just Sittin' and Thinkin'

Morning bloggy peeps!  Here it is Tuesday already and only 10 more days until Christmas.  I feel like these ending days of 2009 are flying by!

Yesterday I wrote about overwhelming feelings - some of which are being caused by the season and the rest of which are being caused by the family.  Thanks for your encouragement on both fronts.

I had some down time during the late afternoon which gave me a chance to think and see if I could come up with a plan to reduce the stress.  Shelley mentioned that she just got her Christmas cards out and for some reason, right when I read her response I finalized my decision NOT to send out cards this year.  I have been putting that off because I wasn't feeling like doing it.  So, I will go ahead and buy personal cards for my husband and daughter but all those other cards - not this year.  Just making that decision helped to lighten the load.  Another thing that has been eating at me is the time being taken up by the karate classes I have been trying in December.  While I am enjoying the classes, they are held later in the evening - 6:45 or 7:00.  By the time I take the class, get home, showered and have a bite to eat, it has been almost 9:00.  That's not super late except I get up at 4:15 so I can run.  Makes for a really long day.  Yesterday as the day progressed I found myself feeling resentful that I "had to" go to karate. When I got home I talked it over with hubby and he pointed out to me that I was just trying it out and that if it wasn't working for me, just drop it.  So I made the decision last night to not sign up for the karate but to stick with the Thai Boxing.  Those classes are at 5:30 which gets me home and showered and fed by 7:30.

I can't believe how much better I feel today.  Two simple decisions that lifted a huge load off.  Why is it that we allow things to get complicated and overwhelm us? I'm sure some of it is from my upbringing ("if you start something you finish it NO MATTER WHAT") and my perfectionist streak (that I have to watch so that it doesn't take over my life). So silly!

Believe it or not, all of this got me thinking about my approach to weight loss.  I haven't fully decided what yet, but I know I'm going to be making some changes in the New Year. I think changing things up can be a good thing. Stay tuned.  In the meantime, for the rest of 2009 I am going to try to reach as many of my Hot 100 goals as possible.  The Hot 100 has been a great exercise for me because I'm not going to ace it so I have to let go of that perfectionism and put all I can into the last 16 days of 2009.

Are any of you rethinking your goals or plans in regards to your weight loss/maintenance?

Monday, December 14, 2009

Don't Stop Believin'

I had yet another busy, busy weekend. At least we finished the Christmas shopping for the little nieces/nephews that we give to. Now all that needs to be done is the wrapping. I swear, I don’t know where the hours go but before I knew it, I blinked and it was Sunday evening at 10:00 and I needed to go to bed to rest up for this work week.

I have been fighting a terrible mindset most of the weekend: “I’m tired of trying so hard and not getting results so I’m going to quit now and start again in January.”

I hate when my mental state gets like that and usually it is stress induced, which it was again this time. I haven’t heard a peep from anyone since the Thanksgiving family drama – until an email from the brother I grew up with arrived on Friday. He wants to get together and talk, so he’s coming to my house this Sunday. He lives 3 hours away from me and must really have something to say because he has refused to call me and insisted on meeting in person. When my hubby and I were discussing the whole situation again this weekend, I ended up feeling agitated and anxious. Which I think has led to me feeling like I just want to lay down and pull the covers over my head and start over in January.

Some of this might be from feeling Seasonally Overwhelmed too... so much to do, not enough time.

Of course the blog world is conspiring to keep me on track whichmeans that Steve’s Motivation for Monday blog is pretty much all about where my head has been so now I feel silly for wanting to quit.  Even though the feeling hasn’t quite left me yet. I think it’s going to be a matter of sheer willpower for a day or two and then I’ll be fine again.  I just have to keep on believing that if I continue to try I will get where I want to be eventually.

I decided to take Friday off from work so that I could have a full extra day at home to finish things up, get some baking done, and get things together so that next week all I have to do is concentrate on making it through the work week.

Can you believe Christmas is only 11 days away?

How about the rest of you -- how are you hanging in during this "Most Wonderful Time of the Year?"

Friday, December 11, 2009

You Have Questions?

A group of people from my job went to look at a piece of artwork this morning that the company is considering buying to put up as a tribute/memoriam to my boss.  It's a limited edition sculputure of an eagle and a flag.  My boss was a huge patriot and those two things really symbolize him.  I wasn't wowed, even though it was a very nice piece of art.  I realized on the drive back to the office that I might not ever like anything that is chosen.  He had such a huge presence I can't imagine being able to fully express him and his life in the correct way.  I guess that's true of anyone we care about.

I have been asked some questions over the last week in the comments on my blog.  I always struggle on whether or not to go back and answer immediately, let it go, or do what I'm going to do today - answer them in a separate blog.

Shelley asked me if my Christmas Tree was a Noble Fir.  Nope, it's a Balsam.  Sometimes we choose a Fraser Fir but the Balsams looked better this year.

Sandra asked me what I wear when I run in the cold.  I know this will sound silly to some of you but it completely depends on just how cold it is.  For the cold we will be experiencing tomorrow morning (20s with wind chill) I will wear two pairs of leggings, a long tank style sports bra, a long-sleeved technical shirt, a wind buffer jacket, gloves, a headband, two pairs of socks and of course, my runnign shoes.  All of the clothing (including the jacket) is wicking style, meaning as I sweat it pushes the sweat away from my body to the outer layer of the clothing so that it will evaporate and dry.  I remember when I first started running I wore cotton.  Yikes!  I can't even imagine taking a short 3 mile run in a cotton t-shirt now.  Technical clothing can be expensive but I'm lucky in that I often find it at the local TJ Maxx or Marshall's for about 1/3 of the cost.

One of the best tools anyone who wants to exercise outside can use is the What to Wear feature on Runner's  In fact, usually at the beginning of every seasonal change I use it because I can never remember what I like to wear when it's say 45 degrees vs. 25 degrees.  Check it out, you'll love it.

Finally, Jack asked me if I would come to his house to decorate.  Since Jack is celebrating opposite day today, I will answer like this:  "Of course Jack.  There's nothing more I'd rather do this weekend than to be at your beck and call and decorate your house and tree!"

I hope everyone has a great weekend and if you haven't finished already, finds the time to finish up Christmas/Hannukah shopping!  Oh, and of course, to eat great and find the time to exercise too.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

A Little Late and A Pound Short

I have had such a busy morning that I didn’t even have time to pop into Blogger and get this posted. But here I am finally with this week’s Hot 100 update.

Here are my goals:

1. Keep the alcohol intake to a minimum.
2. Track my food intake and keep it at 1500 calories or less as a weekly average.
3. Lose 6 pounds in the remaining weeks of 2009.
4. Advance to my next belt in Thai Boxing, which means I have to have perfect attendance and learn the material.

Here is how I did:

1. Not only did I keep alcohol to a minimum, I think over the last 7 days the only wine I had was at my company’s Business After Hours on Tuesday evening. Seriously, this time last week I had an open bottle of wine in the fridge that was half full. I went to the liquor store over the weekend and bought a couple more bottles and threw them in the wine rack. Today as I write this, that half full bottle is still sitting in the fridge and no bottles were opened. I won by 1000% on this one this week – yay me!

2. Average caloric intake was 1377. Yay me again!

3. Alright, this is a tough one. For some reason unbeknownst to me, I gained 1.2 lbs. this week which means in all likelihood I will not make this goal. I needed to lose another 1.2 (not gain it) in order to stay on track! As I said in my post yesterday this is probably completely hormonal or thyroidal but I just do not have any way of knowing. As my friend said to me last night, “Girl with the way you eat and the exercise you do, you should be a stick!” I KNOW. What I have been working on is not getting frustrated and giving up, which I have managed well this week, and so for that I say yay me again.

4. So far so good on this one but I really won’t know until next week what the deal is because this is a short month with the dojo being closed the week between Christmas and New Years. They may not even test for belts before the year end – but that wouldn’t be my failure would it.

All in all I am very (and weirdly) happy. Yes, I would like the scale to move but honestly I really am trying my very, very hardest. What more could I ask of myself?

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Silly Rabbit, Tricks are for Kids

This is going to be a quick one today.  It is weigh in day for me but I didn't have time to take a photo of the weigh in so you'll just have to trust me.  183.  Which means that pretty much inexplicably I am up 1.2.  That also means it's got to be hormonal or something really odd like that.  I am not letting that number make me or break me today because I still feel powerful and I refuse to let 3 digits take that away.

We're having the most awful weather this morning.  My normal 20 minute commute took me 45 minutes so that's how my workday started.

My real day started with a hard, fast run on my treadmill - woo hoo - I've got the power!

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

I've Got the Power

I feel very powerful today.  I love this feeling and hope it lasts for a few days.

Last night after work, I went to my Thai Boxing class then immediately following I took a Karate class.  Then I got up at 4:20 this morning and was out the door at 4:45 for a 45 minute run.  Yes, it was cold (29F) and dark but it wasn't windy or icy and I warmed up quickly.  It's all about the gear when you run in the cold.

Anyway, I think the fact that I was able to endure all that exercise in a 12 hour period is what is making me feel powerful. I feel like I can conquer ANYTHING!  Did I mention I love this feeling?

Thank you Linda at Diva Weigh for this award!

She said she gave it to me because of yesterday's post where I reminded her about Christmas.  Glad to put the Ho! in your holiday Linda.  If you haven't already, check out her blog - she usually has some kicking recipes posted!

Monday, December 7, 2009

What A Weekend!

Boy was I busy -but in a good way! 

Saturday morning I got up early to get in a run because our whole day was going to be full of activity.  By 8:30 we were cleaned up and out the door.  First stop, one of our favorite breakfast places for a big breakfast because we weren't going to have time to eat until much later in the day.  Left there and went off to get our Christmas tree.  Unfortunately it was raining and we go to a tree farm but we had come prepared with boots for the mud and umbrellas for our head.  We've been going to this tree farm for 24 years and have experienced every sort of weather but this was the first time ever we've gone in the rain.  Here's a picture of my living room with the decorated tree.  The centerpiece on the coffee table was made from the extra branches we cut off the bottom.

I actually took that picture yesterday because all we managed on Saturday was to get the tree up and hubby got the lights on. 

Saturday night our karate dojo had their Black Belt Spectacular so we went to that then off to our first party of the season.  The organizers sent out the invitation and asked anyone attending to "pay" their way in with a donation.  They chose four different local charities:  the homeless shelter, the food bank, the battered women's center, and a thrift shop that specifically receives donations of household goods that they turn around and give to homeless who are trying to get back on their feet. I had so much fun picking out the items we donated:  a large bag of brand new hats, scarves and gloves, a large bag full of cosmetic items (shampoo, toothpaste, q-tips, etc.) and a huge box of food.  We loved the idea of this party and to top it off, the party was so much fun!

Sunday, I finished decorating the tree, cleaned the house, cooked several meals for the upcoming week and wrapped all the gifts I've bought so far.  That literally took me 12 hours.  Honestly I feel like I needed to go to work this morning to get some rest!

All in all it was a productive weekend and I also managed to get in my exercise and keep my eating fairly controlled.  Party choices aren't always easy but as I've said before, I try to do the best I can in the situation I'm in.

Now, I need to go off and check out blogs as I've been totally unplugged since Friday!

Friday, December 4, 2009

Wrapping Up the Week

Once again I have been gifted with a blog award by Lori-Ann at Amazon Runner and Sandra at My Travels to Becoming A Better Me:

Thank you ladies! I enjoy your blogs equally as much, appreciate your kind comments on mine, and am proud to call you my “Imaginary” friends!

As I’ve mentioned several times, I haven’t been feeling well and finally got some medication. I’m still not feeling as well as I think I should be so I’m hoping I don’t have to do a second round of antibiotics. I was up for 2 hours in the middle of the night trying to calm my cough down. Even cough syrup wasn’t helping. Needless to say when the alarm went off at 4 I hit snooze a couple of times and didn’t make it downstairs to coffee until 4:30. I stuck to my plan and ran but decided to run on the treadmill rather than outside in pretty cool air.

I have been waking up feeling “empty” for several days in a row now. This morning I recalled that usually means my body is trying to lose weight. I sure hope so. My goal at the beginning of 2009 was to lose 20 lbs. My goal now is to not weigh more on December 31 than I did when the year started. Looking back at my charts, etc. I realized I have been bouncing up and down 6 lbs. all year long. Soooooo frustrating.

I’ve been taking a long hard look and have to admit I think I let the frustration get too much of a hold on me several times so that I quit everything to do with controlling portions and eating properly (I never quit exercising though). I know I shouldn’t let what a scale is telling me control my emotions and patterns with food but somehow I’ve yet to fully take hold of that. I think part of it goes to when I initially gained back the 20 lbs. In January of 2008 I weighed 158. By April 1 I weighed 168. I had changed nothing but my thyroid whacked out and I didn’t know it. Of course when I got my bloodwork done and got the results, I knew why I’d had that steady gain. It didn’t make me feel any better knowing it was a medical thing. The doc changed my meds and I kept at trying to lose. Then I started training for a marathon and gained another 7 lbs. I was hungry all the time and couldn’t seem to balance how much running I was doing (40+ miles/week) with what I needed to eat. After the marathon was complete and my running was drastically cut back, I gained another 3 lbs. and ended 2008 at 178. Talk about a hard, hard fall.

Yesterday, Fat Daddy Rants wrote in his blog, “Will there be a reward for watching my pals and my dad, chow down while my belly growled? Am I the only one who still resents that? I know it is for my own good, but Holy Shit, sometimes I just want to cut loose.”

That really struck a cord with me. Time to stop cutting loose, time to focus. So once again my 2010 goal will be to lose 20+ lbs. My only hope is that my thyroid will stay in check.  In the meantime I try to  keep my eyes on the prize and hopefully get some of the "+" off before December 31st.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Blogger is Acting Up, Perhaps It Needs A Side of Peppers?

Mini-Vent: Why does Blogger act up for no apparent reason?  Two days ago it wouldn't show that I had any comments - thankfully I get notified via email.  Yesterday,  it wasn't showing that I posted at all.  Sometimes I can't see my friends; sometimes a person posts first thing in the morning and it shows up in my blogroll 6 hours later.  Sigh.  Okay, all better now.

If you didn't see yesterday's post, please go check out my weigh-in - then see below.  YAY!

Before I get to my Hot 100 update I should mention that I finally succumbed to antibiotics on Monday and am finally starting to feel better, which helps with meeting goals.

1. Keep the alcohol intake to a minimum.
2. Track my food intake and keep it at 1500 calories or less as a weekly average.
3. Lose 6 pounds in the remaining weeks of 2009.
4. Advance to my next belt in Thai Boxing, which means I have to have perfect attendance and learn the material.

1. I'll give myself a half pass on this one.  Drank quite a bit of wine on Thanksgiving and the day after when we got together with my in-laws.  Unfortunately, I let the stress of the day drive that decision.  But I haven't had anything to drink since last Friday so it's all good.

2. Tracking was good and average was 1501 calories, if you didn't count Thanksgiving where I allowed myself an extra 1000.  But I did track, including all the wine I drank.  So maybe a three-quarters victory.

3. I lost 1 lb. this week.  You know I was hoping for 1.2 or more because I was short the .2 last week but hey a pound is a pound and it's a brand new week. Plus, I lost during a holiday week.  Amazing.

4. Got in my Thai Boxing classes and also decided to try out regular Karate for the month of December.  I can't believe how much I'm enjoying the addition of martial arts to my exercise program!

Thanks again Steve for motivating us to be the best we can be as the year draws to a close.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Wednesday Woot!

Another pound bites the dust! To have it happen during a holiday week that was also extremely stressful makes me very, very happy. It also keeps me on track to meet my goal of losing 6 lbs. by the new year.
 Too bad you can't see me right now because I'm grinning from ear to ear.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Wax On, Wax Off

I don't even know how to say thank you to all of you who commented on yesterday's entry.  Just at the moment I was feeling completely and utterly alone, once again my blogging friends came along and reassured me it will be okay.  You even shared some of your own frustrations and pain from similar experiences and gave me some really good insight and wisdom.   It was hard for me to write that blog and it certainly had nothing to do with weight loss per se but truly writing my feelings out was exactly what I needed to do.  Though my family may have forsaken me, you all did not.   I am grateful to have so many new "imaginary" friends!

I have been an exercise queen lately and am finding that it is actually helping my motivation to eat better.  Here is what this week's schedule looks like:

Sunday:  Run (5 hard, fast miles done)
Monday: Thai Boxing (45 min. class done)
Tuesday: Run & Karate (4.5 miles done, taking my very first karate class tonight)
Wednesday: Run & Karate
Thursday:  Thai Boxing
Friday: Run
Saturday: Run & Hike through a Christmas Tree farm to pick out the perfect tree

I decided last week that I wanted to try actual karate because I am enjoying the Thai Boxing so much.  The dojo owners are graciously letting me try it at no cost for one month.  I need to figure out if I can commit to it the way I would need to - 2 days a week only but added in to my current life it could get a bit whacky.  I figure if I can hang in there in December, I'm good.

Hope the rest of you are finding yourselves back on track and working hard for the last 30 days of 2009.  If you're not, why not start right now?