Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Certain

Certain: having or feeling no doubt or uncertainty; confident and assured; perfect knowledge of total security from error.

I have been thinking a lot about certainty lately.  I think the trigger was my surprise weight loss this past week.  I had assumed that because I'd been sick and not exercising, but still eating around 1500 calories a day that I would gain.

Around 6 months ago when I started blogging, I had one goal: to be under 180 lbs. by my 50th birthday.  So the name of my blog is a triple entendre: 180 lbs., 180 days to get under that by turning my life around 180 degrees.

As the months went on and my weight bounced around I began to think that maybe I would not make that goal.  It was frustrating and spiritually and emotionally exhausting.  I didn't want to be consumed by this because it certainly wasn't a race per se.   But when I started I weighed around 185 and thought for certain that I could at least make 179 in 6 months.

With this past week's weigh in at 179.2 I should feel confident that I have made my goal.  But I don't.  The reason being is this is the third time I've gone under 180 in the past 6 months, only to have my uncooperative body betray me and my weight bounce back up.  180.6 has been the most popular number... so close and yet so far.

While running on my treadmill this morning I began to muse over this uncertain feeling that I have and wonder when I will feel no doubt that I am not going to bounce back up and that I will be headed for 160ville.  I decided that it will probably take me being closer to 175 because rarely do I bounce up 5 lbs.  My great hope, since I've had weight loss for a couple weeks in a row is that my body has flipped and is understanding that I do not intend to stay where I am; that I will be rewarded with fat burning Scale Victories this week and in the weeks to come.

One thing I know for certain is that I cannot quit.  I do have my eyes on a prize and I am going to get there one way or the other and I will arrive confident and assured that I never have to look back again.

7 comments:

  1. Way to go Helen - now that's the attitude. At our age I think it takes our bodies time to figure out we are serious and get those fat burnin metabolism gears in motion. We just have to have know it is going to happen and never quit.

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  2. Mentality is so hard. It sounds like your body is getting used to your new set point. I know you won't quit, and that you can definitely win this mental game.

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  3. Hi there! I just added you to my blog roll. Love your spirit! I too will be celebrating a "milestone" birthday this year and started blogging recently. It's amazing how life can motivate you to do something you never thought you would do! Anyway--good luck on your weight loss journey, and I hope you'll check out my crazy blog. Cheers!

    http://theskinnyjeansproject.blogspot.com/

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  4. I'm certain of your success. Great post here, awesome. Thank you my friend!

    My best always
    Sean

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  5. WTG Helen!

    Yes, *for certain* we cannot give up, even when days look dark & the scale gives us numbers we do not want to see.

    Love the positive message & I know you're going to meet your goal.

    Best wishes,
    Lynn

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  6. excellent post, because this is so much a 'mind over matter' situation! YAY YOU!

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  7. I didn't feel certain until recently...then it felt inevitable.
    I would like that middle area where I am confident but not complacent...
    ahhh life.

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