Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Running in Circles

I have an extra day off from work this week!  I am in the 1/3 of the USA where there is currently a winter blizzard going on so I made plans yesterday to not go to work today.  I did bring some work home with me and will get that finished before tomorrow but it is sooooo nice to have this bonus day at home.  So far, I've slept in, run for an hour on my treadmill, planned tonight's dinner, and given myself a pedicure.  I really needed this more than I could ever explain properly.  There has been lots of stuff going on at work to which my reaction has been to stress eat ever since Monday.  NOT GOOD.  Interesting to me is that I think I've conquered the wine because I haven't been turning to that at all.  Since I've been working on  that since the New Year, it was nice to realize that I'm getting in control there.  Still, I'm sure I will pay the price to the scale gods on Friday when I weigh in here and again on Saturday at my dojo challenge. Knowing that, it was tempting this morning to just say screw it and blow off the rest of this week but then I turned that thought into "why not begin to do your very best right this minute and then try to do your best each minute of this day?"  Wish me luck.

"I keep fighting the growth I need to go through because it's too hard."

This morning I was running on my treadmill watching last night's episode of Biggest Loser.  As I heard one of the contestants say these words, I felt like someone who has been in a daze and has just been slapped so they'll come to.  I had an "ah-ha!" moment.

I came to a sudden realization that this is exactly what my problem has been going on 3 years now.  I've let all the hard things get in my way and keep me from progressing.  When I look at what I'll have to/need to do to get to goal, it makes me feel exhausted and I keep quitting.  This pattern flows over into other areas of my life and I don't see complete success there either.

At my dojo we have a saying, "a black belt is a white belt who didn't quit."  Ironically, I am a woman who has trained for and finished several marathons. The only way I could finish was to NOT QUIT.  Therefore, I know I can finish this journey.  I have all the tools - truth be told I have so many tools I should probably get rid of some of them.  But I also have the tools WITHIN me otherwise I never would have finished my marathons.

I realize I need to experience some growing pains and I've decided that I will take this extra time off today to figure out how to get myself headed in the direction of my finish line because I surely am tired of running in circles.

Tomorrow, I say 'tomato' you say 'tomahto' or finally the Muffuletta/Muffaletta recipe - with pictures!


  1. I love this post Helen, it so rings true for a lot of us really.

    You certainly do have the skills and knowledge inside of you to make this work. Now you just have to grab hold of it and use it!

    Glad you are having a "me" day - everyone needs them.

  2. Sometimes great things happen during the self-pedicure. I'm glad you are having a good day. And I love your "aha" moment.

  3. That's a great "aha" moment. Thanks for sharing. I think I am my biggest enemy, always getting in the way.


  4. Thanks for sharing that quote, and your subsequent "aha" moment. You know I can relate to being the one who gets in my own way!

    I just had a sort of whiny post about the confinement of the blizzard, but like you, I'm enjoying a day away from the many dysfunctions at work.

    Enjoy the guilt free downtime.

  5. Great quote and glad you're able to pull through your tough time by applying it to your life.

    Keep it up!

  6. I've been meaning to post a comment for days now.
    You really write some inspirational posts. My fave line:

    "I have all the tools - truth be told I have so many tools I should probably get rid of some of them."

    Me too!

  7. This is a great post Helen! I am glad you got a day off too. I am getting to sit around in a hotel while I try to find a way home. :-)

  8. I really needed this. I have also been stressing out this week at work and not making good choices. Today I finally made myself stop and get back on track. It is so hard when you are stressed. It is definitely a learning process. Keep it up!

  9. every little 'aha' moment, every little glimmer of hope...builds on the next one, and is proof that you are headed in the right direction. Persevere, my dear!