Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Please Bear With Me

I'm sorry friends.  You know I am not usually a down person. Please bear with me.

My 52 year old favorite cousin died last night.  She had cancer in her hip.  She was in a nursing home and was doing OK except she had to have a feeding tube.  After a lot of thought and prayer and consultation with her family she decided last Friday to remove the feeding tube and let it be.  My mother did not tell me because she knew I was already reeling and dealing with my sister-in-law's death.  That makes two of my family members 50 & 52 years old who have died in the last 6 days. I honestly do not know how I'm not going a teensy bit nuts right now, except I have been leaning on my faith to sustain me.  Because, for me, my human mind cannot understand this.  At all.

This is my check-in post for the My Long Hot Active Summer challenge.  I've got to say, I was pretty surprised when I stepped on the scale this week:


Which is exactly a maintain.

The reason I was suprised is that on Monday when I went out to run, my run was so awful and I felt so heavy and sluggish I weighed myself, which is not normally something I do (weighing on an "off" day).  I weighed 184 - horrifying!  I was so upset and discouraged because I knew stress and too much wine over the weekend had done me in.  Then I read Mrs. Fatass' post about taking things One Day At A Time, but trying to string those "one days" together.  I decided right then, that instead of beating myself up, that is what I would try very hard to do.  So that drop of 2.6 pounds is from stringing only two "one days" together.  Of course I also know that means it was "junk" weight.  Still, I am encouraged that if I can just keep stringing those "one days" together, one day at a time, I can do no more harm to myself.

Also, even with all the stress from last Thursday-Today I managed to get in 225 mintues of exercise. 

Anyone else been thinking about that one day at a time thing, whether it has to do with food or exercise or whatever? 

Please don't forget to send me your mailing information if you won anything in my giveaway. Some of you have said "whoopee I won" but have not gotten that to me.  Like they say in our state lottery, "You can't win if you don't play" (or send me your address)!

26 comments:

  1. I'm sorry to hear about your cousin. That is so difficult! We're all thinking and praying for you. "One day at a time" is the right philosophy. It's definitely something I need to think about. :-)

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  2. Aw Helen. I'd say how much more, but let's not tempt fate...you are really getting hit with it right now. I'm so sorry for yet another loss - what a sad, sad time. Fifty-somethings should not be dying! Cancer sucks so much.

    I'm impressed that you are managing to string "one days" together in these trying times. Hugs, big hugs to you, my friend.

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  3. Aw Helen, I am sorry for your loss. What a tough time you are going through. Shelley is right, 50 something is way too young to be leaving this world. Such a shame.

    One day at a time is a great thing and I think you are doing great! For me, I'm working it with food. I had a weekend like you did and when I got on the scale on Monday I was horrified. Today I'm OK. This coming weekend is going to be my first camping weekend and the stepson and his GF from Japan will be staying with us (they came with us to Mazatlan). When they visit, we always have a blast. I just have to try to control that blast so that it doesn't blow up in my face on Monday. So I will take it one day at a time and make the best choice I can at that moment.
    Will see!

    My heart and thoughts are with you!
    Take care,
    S

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  4. I too am so sorry for your loss.
    I know that times like these are so tough, and you seem to be working through it. One day at a time indeed.

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  5. So sorry you are dealing with this. Chin up and press forward. This too will pass.smile.

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  6. I am also so sorry for this second loss. I'm glad you are finding strength in your faith - sometimes it (whatever "it" is for any of us) is the only thing to cling to. Please hang in. It's pretty remarkable that you've strung the 2 days together given all you're going through.

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  7. Oh, I am so sorry for your family.
    Take care, Kimberly

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  8. Sorry to hear about both your losses.

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  9. So sorry to hear about all your loss. That's got to be a lot to deal with so close together. I have to say though, you're a rockstar for still getting in some exercise and doing what you can to take care of yourself right now. Kudos for the maintain in such a stressful time.

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  10. I'm so sorry Helen!! Taking it one day at a time is a good motto. I'm working on doing just that! :)

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  11. Helen,
    Again, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Man, I can't imagine what you must be going through. I can only pray that Go would allow me to bare your burden with you. Thanks for this great post! I've got some new thoughts rattling around my brain. Hmmmmmm

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  12. I'm so very sorry to hear of your loss, Helen. I lost my Mother two years ago from cancer and i'm still trying to find a new "normal" without her. I still miss her so much sometimes that i can't breathe. I think that the "one day at a time" for me, is trying to do the best i can possibly do in honor of my Mom who felt that living life was a gift and should be done to your best.

    Lots of soft hugs to you...

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  13. I am so sorry to hear of your loss, Helen. It's been a brutal time for you and your extended family. Please be gentle with yourself.

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  14. Helen. Sometimes it is good to put away until your human mind CAN deal with it. It's a defense mechanism that we NEED sometimes.

    I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you can just keep stringing one good day after another.

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  15. Helen I am so sorry to hear about your cousin AND right after your sister in law too!

    I hate when people die young! My dad died when he was 59, and I had one brother in law die at 35 and another brother in law die at 51. It always makes me think what my half way point is! And I would hate to think that when someone is in their 20's that their life is half over, it's so sad!

    I think you are on the right track, just take it day by day and you will do fine.

    I'll keep you in my thoughts today

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  16. I'm sorry to hear of another loss in your extended family. Day by day, indeed. I wish you a healing heart.

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  17. Oh my Helen! SO sorry to hear about that.

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  18. If i ever have to have a feeding tube, I'd rather be dead.
    Sorry to read about your people loss but glad to read about your maintenance.

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  19. Oh Helen! I am really, really sorry to read this. 2010 has certainly not been a great year for either of us so far.

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  20. This is so sad! Thinking of you and your family at this difficult time, and hope your "one-day-at-a-time" strategy helps you get through this.

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  21. One day at a time sounds like great advice - glad it's working for you. My sympathies again. And I emailed you my address, hope you got it. ♥

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  22. I am so sorry that you have experienced two losses in such a short time. My thoughts and prayers are with you and their families.

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  23. Helen, Sorry I am late to chime in but know that I am thinking about you and your family. You are all in my prayers.

    You have had such tragedy to go through lately and I am very sad to hear of such young lives being taken but I in my heart I am sure they are looking down on you and smiling.

    Hugs!
    Lisa

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  24. I seriously can NOT believe you had another loss. That is so wrong. Have you ever heard of the book "When Bad Things Happen to Good People" by Rabbi Harold Kushner. I didn't read the whole book, but the title is just so appropriate at this time.
    And, I love the saying "stringing only two "one days" together"
    Keep that positive attitude going, it is so inspiring.

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  25. Helen, I am so sorry you are going through all of this loss and heartbreak right now. Your strength will carry you through it. Just hang in there! There are lots of positive thoughts heading your way from all over the internet.

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  26. Sorry I'm so late, but my condolences. What a double whammy! Hugs to you, Helen.

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