Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Tuesday Ten

1.  As you can imagine it has been a tough few days, with more to come.  My sister-in-law's memorial service here won't be held until June 16th followed by one in Michigan on June 19th, which I think we're travelling to.  I really have no words to say how much all your expressions of sympathy and caring mean to me. I will use your lovely sentiments to prop myself up over these next days.  I love our blogging community. You guys rock!

2.  Did you win anything in my GIVEAWAY?  Don't forget to check... you wouldn't want to lose your valuable prize to someone else would you?

3.  I'm tired.  No, not tired.  Deeply fatigued and weary.  I'm sure it is stress related and I'm doing all I can to not hold the stress but boy could I use a huge break.

4.  And I think the stress is definitely affecting me.  If my scales are being honest, I have put on almost 10 pounds in 3 weeks, doing nothing different.

5.  Not to mention that I have to get some weight OFF if I am going to make my goal of running a race this summer.  My body can't take the beating of trying to run at the weight I'm carrying right now. I can't get to an endocrinologist fast enough, I think.

6.  Jenn at Slim-Shoppin does a feature on weight loss superstars (meet Lisa!).  I commented on that blog that I needed to just get determined and get this thing over with, finish it to the end.  I need to focus and stop taking breaks and having splurges, etc.  I want to be done.  I think I hesitate because when I get into that sort of focused mode, it sometimes causes agida between me and Mr. Helen.  I've got to figure out how to explain this to him so he can truly understand what I'm going through here.

7.  The mental problem I have with getting determined and getting it over with is that I'm going to be hungry.  At least for a bit.  I just know it.  I hate being hungry.  And please don't tell me to eat carrot sticks or celery or whatever.  I don't want them.  I want cheesecake if the truth be known. But even then I don't want cheesecake all the time.  I want a variety of real food and don't like "substituting" foods.  I think substitutions might even be one of the reasons I've never completely kept off any weight I've lost.  Substitutions don't make me happy and are not a lasting solution because eventually I stop substituting.

8.  I think the lasting solution is either 1.  To each myself to stop eating so fricking much (and, of course, the wine, the wine!) - I'm talking volume here people or 2.  Say the h*ll with it and see if I can become the next Paula Deen.  She's chubby, she seems to be happy and she eats butter and mayonnaise to her heart's content.

9.  To that end, Mrs. Fatass had an excellent blog yesterday One Day At A Time.  In it she talks about just making it through one day and then stringing the "one days" together. AHA!  I know if I can do that I'll get myself underway once and for all and I really can be done with it, without resorting to butter and mayonnaise.

10.  Finally, on a lighter note, I rediscovered sorbet this past weekend.  Holy Yum is that stuff good!  The one I'm eating now is Ciao Bella Blood Orange and has only 60 calories for half a cup!  So refreshing on a really hot/humid day.

Talk to me people:  any big revelations in your life?  any stress?  any new food finds? how are you focusing these days? do you love butter and mayonnaise?

19 comments:

  1. checking in as Im up at the CRACK this morning with a sick child.

    I echo MrsFatAss as thats how I lost my weight and IMO how Ive kept it off (16 years).

    every day its a choice.

    some days choices are better than others.

    all in all I just strive to string em together like a necklace and hope the GOOD CHOICE DAYS outweigh the 'bad' and that the BAD CHOICE DAYS and choices as well (not mindless occurrences)

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  2. You can't give up on your health. I know your going through a really bad time right now with the deaths in your family, but it will get better with time. In the meantime, be good to yourself in non-food ways. Also, just like the post you mentioned take it one day at a time and string your sucesses together and build on that. I wrote about keeping the weight off in my blog yesterday so please drop by:)

    Yes, I love butter and mayo I'm from the deep south where food is almost a religion and of course it is love:)

    I've been on this journey for 13 years now and there is really no going back for me. I'm here if you need to vent calderons4913@bellsouth.net. I lost my mom in 2004 I know what it is like to be in that kind of deep pain.
    Take Care.....

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  3. One day at a time. Sometimes it's a not so good day. For a while. But, I'm glad you're going to have a good day today. Tragedy and difficulty don't have to derail us. THey just can.

    You're learning. THat's what's important to me. Go Helen. Go!

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  4. I love the idea of stringing "one days" together.

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  5. Holy Helen, you are going through lots! You are right on the One Day At A Time! I think that is key. Hypothetically I messed up yesterday, today is a new day, tomorrow I have no idea what is going to happen. So I need to make the absolute best of TODAY. Stress is hard to deal with and unfortunately our bodies are the ones that suffer. If you are like me, you internalize your stress, you don't really let it out much. And that is tough on these old bones. My body goes into protective mode I think, doesn't know what to do, so it just keeps me safe and FAT :).

    Go kick ass tonight (or whenever your classes are). Get out that stress.

    I have no comment on the wine as we both know it is an issue for me as well. It's an attitude thing for me, I insist this is a life style change and not a diet and therefore do I plan on stopping for the rest of my life - NO - so I make excuses to include it in my "life style" and I end up getting results a heck of a lot slower. It's a choice we are making. My problem is Mr. is just as social as I want to be and we enjoy our nights out with friends or just the two of us.
    I love chips - it's my butter and mayonaise.
    xxoo

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  6. Ohmigod - I haven't emailed my address to you. As soon as I'm done this comment... I have been thinking of you a lot Helen. Your musings today remind me of myself - and some of your current struggles with the weight and your thoughts on foods and substituting and all that other good choice sh*t could have flowed through my fingertips onto the keyboard too.

    Just keep trudging. The best you can today. It'll never be perfect. And even if it is for one day, it won't be eventually, and that's okay too. Miz said it - more good ones than bad.

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  7. I said the hell with it and gave up any pretense of eating "right" for a few years. It was AWESOME!!! I was that person who could eat whatever they wanted, even as others around me were denying themselves. I enjoyed it. But I did not enjoy constantly having to buy bigger clothes, and I didn't feel all that good, although I didn't know how bad of shape I was in until I lost my weight - I actually walk with a pep in my step now instead of shuffling along. So no, I don't think going the Paula Deen route is the right path for you.

    That said, you are in the midst of a very stressful situation and now is probably not the best time to make any drastic changes...wait until after the funeral and memorial services. But you said it - you are going to have to give up certain things (wine is a biggie) and you are going to be hungry for a little while - but you will adjust if this is truly what you want.

    And sometimes? One day at a time needs to be one hour at a time...you can do anything if you take enough baby steps. Hang in there, Helen - I'm rooting for you to get where you want to be.

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  8. This road we travel is definately a rollercoaster! Hang in there girl. If your Head is right then your body will follow!

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  9. We are here for you. Don't give up.smile.

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  10. Helen,
    Because I have not checked blogs, I was not aware that your sister in law had passed away. Please know that your family is in my prayers. By the way, thanks for being open and sharing your real hurts and frustrations. That's one of the things I love about your blog. Hey...I won a book!!! Now I've gotta go e-mail you with my info!! Hooray!

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  11. Too bad Ciao Bella doesn't make a butter/mayonnaise sorbet for you to savor.

    I'm glad your SIL is not suffering any longer though.

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  12. I'm so sorry to hear about your sister-in-law.

    And I'm sorry you're having such a rough time. What a bummer. It's difficult sometimes not to get discouraged, but you'll feel better once you have a chance to re-charge your batteries. Stress and fatigue can take a huge mental and emotional toll.

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  13. Sorry so much stress is hanging on you. And my condolences to your family!

    I have been pretty much stuck for 6 months and still exercising my butt off (well, it's not coming off though . . . ) So I hear you on the food stuff. Except the butter and mayonnaise. Eww. My body doesn't like lactose, lol. I think the food balancing act -- and the decisions about what tastes better (my goal or that cheesecake?) is the next big hurdle for me too. :S

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  14. I am with you on the wine sister! I need to put it down!

    Sorry for all the stress you are under - one thing that helps me is that I tend to eat bigger meals and I hardly am ever hungry - my lunch was about 530 calories, I ate it two hours ago and I am still stuffed.

    Hugs!

    Biz

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  15. One day at a time is a great mantra. Hang in there Miss Helen. I am so sorry for your loss. Your sister in law sounds like she was an amazing lady. Been thinking of you alot, my friend. Hope your skies get brighter soon! xoxo

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  16. First of all my deepest sympathy to you and your family.

    I am with Shelley and that since you are in such a stressful situation just remember to try to make good choices and to be extra kind to yourself. You can get back to the WL when things settle down a bit.

    Hugs and love to you Helen.

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  17. I hope you can get some answers and some help to lose the pounds you want to drop. It can be so frustrating.

    I like a little butter no mayo though!

    I have found that I am not hungry when I eat nutritious food. Refined carbs leave me feeling hungry but not chicken, fish, veggies, fruit, plain yogurt, brown rice, wheat pasta,beans,eggs, lentils fat free milk and good food like that!

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  18. Paula Dean drives me crazy!!!
    I am sorry you are struggling, like I said last week, so many losses. Your grief bucket is just overflowing. It is hard to have the energy when you are so fatigued.
    Whatever it is you decide to do for yourself, DO IT FOR YOURSELF! You deserve it.
    Oh, and Mr. H, he may never get it, do some of these men, but he needs to be convinced that he has to support you because he loves you, for no other reason than that.
    Hang in there!

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  19. Look, I really wish I could offer words of sympathy, motivation and sound advice. However, truth be known, I am EXACTLY where you are. I can substitute though (thank goodness). But all the stress, which I keep trying to GET RID OF, keeps getting to me, which is exactly why I haven't lost a dang thing in 7 months. It's so frustraiting, to the point where I sometimes find myself saying "Why even try?"

    But then I find myself at the gym, and at first I'm angry with the thought "I am just wasting the next hour here, with absolutely no progress in sight"... then at the end, I am always so glad I came. I feel better, refreshed, energized, invigorated... But then comes the increased appetite and lack of self-control... It's NOT EASY!!!

    All I can say is this: Live and learn. There is a season for this and that, and some seasons are easier, and some are harder. Embrace where you are in this season of life, and if it's that kind of season: Just try to get through it. It won't last forever. Always remember: "Run when you can, walk if you have to, crawl if you must, just never give up!" I'm crawling along right now. I may run tomorrow. LOVE Mrs. Fatass, and I too am taking it one day at a time.

    Much love XXXXXXXXXX

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