Friday, September 10, 2010

Friday Collect

Ahhh Friday.  The vast wasteland of blogland.

Just as a followup, on yesterday's post.  First of all, I knew some would misunderstand what I was trying to express and sure enough you did.  That's ok.  But I want it to be clear that not having nutritious healthy food around is not my problem at all.  As I refuse to look at food as "good" or "bad" my snack box has a variety of options for me to choose from.  The choices I made were what I made at the time.

Yesterday morning as I was gathering my lunch and snacks,  I made the decision that I would eat whatever I'd packed, whether I wanted it or not. Maybe that's not the best way to go about it but I it was what I chose.  I ended up feeling a whole lot better than I have been lately. Which made my Muay Thai class last night way easier to get through. Not that it was easy. But doing 250 crunches when you don't have a stomachache & headache is a lot easier than if you do.

This has been such an odd week for a variety of reasons.  Instead of feeling like summer is wrapping up and I can look forward to a couple months of structure before the Holiday craziness sets in, it has felt all over the place.

My days are filled with a whole lot of nothingness as my employers still can't decide what to do with me. The anniversary of my bosses death is October 31st which means I've been on standby for almost a year. While I've been looking around, as we all know, maybe the only thing as bad as the job market is the housing market.

I've already whined talked about my food issues lately a couple of times this week so no need for a repeat, but that is one of the things making me feel unsettled.  Then there's the weather.  It's like a switch got flipped and summer went right down the garbage disposal.  There's a definite feel of Fall in the air.  Plus there's the darkness.  I'm already back home from my run before it's even light these days.  Of course, that's if I can get myself up to run.  Because honestly, between the cool and the dark, I just want to burrow under the covers and stay there.  I feel like I want to hibernate and it's only September 10th.  That can't be a good sign.

A good friend experienced a very serious choking episode this week.  This was his post:

"Very lucky to be alive. I would have choked to death if not for the Heimlich Manuever performed by our friend James, who knew it from his Army days. Even then, I could barely breath and could not clear the obstruction until our friend Cathy, a nurse, gave me instruction what to do. My throat is very sore, and I am still a bit in shock, but I am grateful to my friends."

He choked on a piece of canteloupe.

After my initial shock as I read through his comments I saw this one:  You scared the heck out of us ... and we are all in awe of James now. But remember what I told you, this ain't no dress rehearsal, go buy the Blue Ray or whatever the heck it's called and every stinking accessory and enjoy it.

I was once again immediately reminded of how short, sweet, and precious life is.  It isn't a dress rehearsal, it's the only life you get. I want to live like I am dying and not have regrets and experience big things,  but I'm not sure how to balance all that with our finances as they currently are.

We have been hit with many bank account draining things this year and as we are not people who live by credit card, things are quite tight. So even though there are endless possibilities for the weekend: a benefit dance for the homeless, a"Taste" featuring a bunch of restaurants, and the local fairs are starting; everything except staying home and cooking our own meals costs money. Normally I don't fret over these things but when Mr. Helen does and says it out loud, it makes me fret too. I've always had a huge fear of being a working poor person. Now maybe you understand why I go to work day after day to a job where they don't know what to do with me.

I am aware that one of the areas I wanted to work on in 2010 was being able to not need so much structure and to fly by the seat of my pants more often.  Be careful what you wish for because it feels like I've had NO structure lately - that all my best laid plans have been ripped right out from under me.  It's disconcerting and I don't like it.

And now as I go back through this for proofreading, it seems that what I'm really looking for is balance - in all areas.  That's a tricky one, isn't it?


  1. I think the bigger question is balance over what period of time? A day? A meal? A week? Several days? I'm leaning towards several days. I'm finding that I will, if given the opportunity, naturally lighten up on my eating if I've had a bit too much or the wrong things over the next couple of days. Some days I'm not hungry until mid-afternoon, so I don't really eat (those times are rare and I'm not doing heavy exercise). I don't have any answers, just more questions, obviously.

    Whatever you decide, I hope you have a wonderful weekend.

  2. Hang in there Helen! We too are not a credit card family (although our credit scores were lower because we didn't have a major credit card, so now I have one, with a $300 limit, that I buy groceries with and pay off every month) I hear you about how expensive life is!

    Our dog had his yearly checku: $250, Hannah's second to last tuition installment: $416 - I have my step-sons 21st birthday, my husbands 50th birthday and my moms 70th birthday this month! I'll have to stretch every dollar!

    Glad you felt better for your night workout - 250 crunches with a headache would be awful!

    Happy Friday!

  3. I wrote a great comment and it got lost! I am having internet issues in the hotel this morning.

    I strive to find balance in all areas of my life as well. Sometimes it is difficult.

    Life is short and your friends experience is a good reminder for us to not waste it!
    Hope you have a good weekend.

  4. We don't do credit cards either, and it's a bit scary sometimes, not having that "safety net" - and as a result, we don't do a lot of things. But wow, after reading about your friend's choking incident, I'm really glad I splurged with my ill-gotten booty and bought the netbook, instead of the dishwasher that we sorely need. Sometimes, you DO need to buy the fun stuff!

    Balance is always hard for me - I may get it in one part of my life but lose it in others. It's always a challenge. never answered me yesterday - want to virtually train together?

  5. I hate no structure. I'm amazed that you have handled it for a year. You are truly inspirational, not only in your fitness goals. I too have a stress eating problem. *sigh* We're going to work on it though, and eventually we'll be stronger.

  6. Balance sounds so good, so...balanced. And it is elusive. We are also in pretty tough financial straits these days, and I literally have to keep reminding myself that "you can't take "stuff" with you". But even many experiences cost money, as you wisely noted. Frustrating.

    We're working on not being a credit card family...I'm paying down my last one. After putting 3 kids through college (one is in his last year), and hubby's business falling way off in the last 2 years, we've had to use them some. But I can't wait to get rid of them so what money we have will really be ours! Have a good weekend, Helen.

  7. Helen, I can relate to what you are writing in so many ways. Of course, there are things you are going through which I cannot relate to as well. 2010 has been a much different year for several of us. Reading your post, it is interesting to see how opposite it is from your life up to this point. As you know, the pendulum will swing back the other way -- hopefull soon. Hang in there.

  8. This was a very thoughtful post. Those are good to get out (and read) every so often.
    Hang in there, friend.