Friday, September 17, 2010

Friday Collect

Tonight, we attend yet another wake.  Given yet another gentle reminder of how precious life is, as Mr. Helen's best friend's father died on Monday night.  He had a good life - fathered 13 children and lived to be 88 years old!  Still, it's hard when your friend's parents start dying, because you realize yours are probably not too far behind.  I had a special place in my heart reserved for this man.  He was a St. Martin (French West Indies) native but held dual citizenship in the USA.  After he retired he lived mostly on the island with some trips here now and then.  St. Martin was where I met him for the first time when Mr. Helen and I took our delayed honeymoon/10th Anniversary trip there.  He was soooo happy to see Mr. Helen, he actually cried real tears and was shouting (imagine this in a West Indian accent) "Ah, me boy you come home to da island!" over and over.  When I was introduced he said "Ya done good me boy, real good.  You went an' married yourself Helen a Troy!"  Sleep peacefully Nick, it won't be the same without you.

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Both of my Muay Thai classes were hard this week and my body is feeling it.  On Tuesday our dojo Kyoshi taught. She hasn't instructed on the nights I go in a long time. It was great to have her!  Her classes are deceptively hard.  You're going along following her instruction but by the time you leave, you're whipped!  Mr. Helen was my Sensei last night and holy I'm too fat for this, he killed us.  He ended the class with us laying on our side then we had to lift up off the floor and do a roundhouse kick from the floor!  By the time you get to black belt you're supposed to actually be able to lift yourself up so that you're actually on the ball of your foot that's on the floor while you kick with the other.  I was lucky to get my hip up off the floor.  The idea is to train so that if you're in a real fight and get knocked down, you can sweep the person's legs right from the ground.  As I said to KCL Anderson, "Maybe in about 50 pounds I'll be able to get up like that but not right now!"  Let me just say when I leave hard classes like the two I had this week, I'm very glad when I've made good choices in regards to eating.

In addition to the Muay Thai I've already run 15 miles this week and I'm looking to get another 5-6 over the weekend. I'd like to keep my base over the winter at 20 or so miles a week. 

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This is my niece Gracie's last year of preschool.  Since you all enjoyed the other pictures I couldn't resist showing you this one.  Here she is (right) with her BFF Lily.  She cracks me up with how she's got her feet just so and the fact that she does not have a backpack, but rather is carrying a purse!


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One evening this week I posted my status on Facebook as "I feel fat. And I haven't even had dinner yet. Ugh."

I believe that the true problem was my continuing stomach issues. On that day, for some reason, everything I ate (even though I was hungry) made me miserable. By dinnertime, I didn't even want to eat because I "felt" fat and uncomfortable. I ended up having a shot of Pepto as my dinner and going to bed fairly early.

But I was fascinated by the comments I got. Which now has me both leaving you with this thought and asking you?

Is "fat" a feeling or is it a reality?

12 comments:

  1. I saw that comment on FB. I think "feeling fat" is a feeling, but plenty of people feel fat who are NOT fat in any way, so that is NOT reality. But sometimes I, who am fat (not terribly, but a bit!) feel fatter than usual - either because of what I'm wearing or what I ate the day before. How's this crock of sh*t for a nebulous answer?

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  2. I think it's a feeling, a state of mind, a place of being.

    Also, it does absolutely no good to have someone tell me, "no you're not" That doesn't seem to be the isue for me.

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  3. I can have a "fat" feeling moment after I've downed a huge bottle of water, so I'd say it's more of a feeling, because really? when I WAS fat, I didn't always "feel" it, and that CERTAINLY was a reality!

    I am loving your niece - she is so darn cute and self-assured!

    Trying to picture the move of leaping from the floor and all I can see in my mind's eye is something from a movie - do people really do this in real life? Impressive!

    Very sweet memory of the older man. Hope the wake is full of those kinds of memories tonight.

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  4. Helen, I am so sorry for the loss of your friend. What a life he led!

    As for the feeling fat, yep, I "feel" that way and I have to tell myself that it's just a feeling and that with two or three days of good clean living that it will go away. I do believe that for me, that feeling "fat" is one of the hallmarks of my disordered eating.

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  5. Nick sounds like a wonderful man and I am so glad you knew him. It also sounds like Nick knew how wonderful YOU are :-) Sorry for the loss!

    As for those off-the-floor roundhouse kicks...I'll tell you this: as strong as I have gotten, and whatever weight I have lost, I don't think those will ever be easy for me, even if I get stronger and lose more weight. AND I have found (just like "feeling fat") that there are days when stuff like that is easier and days when it's just damned hard. Last night was a damned hard night...I just got my period, my back was aching, I had wicked cramps, and I was just plain old tired.

    One last thought about feeling fat: at every weight I've ever been, I've had days where I "felt fat" and days when I felt "skinny" (even at the higher weights). It used to be that when I felt fat, I'd get down on myself and engage in self-destructive behaviors. Now I recognize it for what it is (bloat, period, gas, etc) and make a little extra effort to remind myself that it is NOT reality and that I am still a good person who deserves my own respect and acceptance.

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  6. Fat shmat....there are so many people that are a little overweight, but don't seem to have the self esteem issues I have. I think it's a feeling, and sadly, one that I hold on to WAY too hard. Adorable niece, Helen of Troy.

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  7. I sometimes feel fat and I am not sure why. It use to be a hormonal response but since that is no longer an issue for me I guess it is all in my head!

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  8. Call that new move the "fire Hydrant". I love doing it as much as you do- its a Killer!

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  9. both...feeling fat when you aren't is a problem though.
    and your classes kick @ss helen.
    Great job.
    me and my daughter love your nieces outfit, too cute!

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  10. I definitely think there are days when we "feel fat", although it doesn't always mean our literal weight.

    But like Shelley said, there are also days when we are literally fat but we don't feel like it! So it can be both, a reality and a state of mind.

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  11. I feel Fat when my jeans are to tight, and feel like I need to lose 15-20 pounds the rest of the time, because I do need to lose 15 to 20 pounds.

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  12. Sorry to hear about the death Helen. They are never easy to deal with.

    The workout sounds awesome though. I think I could really use a good hard workout like that!

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