Monday, November 8, 2010

Check Up from the Neck Up

Today is November 8th.  Exactly one week ago I was posting about not putting things off until January and giving November and December my all and finally (maybe) seeing the results I want to see spiritually and physically.

I had actually seen someone call it "NO-Excuses NOvember" and claimed that as my own mantra!

Then, life very rudely interrupted my plans. 

I had two pretty encompassing things happen last week, one in my professional life, and one in my personal life.  I can't/won't go into detail about either but suffice it to say, I am sufficiently derailed.  No excuses, just facts.

Right now, I'm either eating too much, or eating too little.  I let some wine creep back in and while that shouldn't matter it does.  Most especially on the days where my stomach was in knots and I didn't want to eat, the glass of wine was appealing.  It made me feel temporarily relaxed.  A glass of wine a once or twice a week is one thing, a glass of wine everyday is another.  Because alcohol slows down metabolism,  Period.  I have to stay away from that stuff.  That's just how I feel about it, for me.

Yesterday, because Mr. Helen works on Sunday and I have a long day alone, I spent some time thinking about how I can't seem to get my head wrapped around the things that happened, therefore I can't get it screwed back on straight.  It frustrates me to no end how these things affect my well-being.  Honestly, I've even found it hard to want to run.  When I have run, it has felt like a such a struggle that I keep cutting my runs short.  So now, I've got both food and exercise affected.  Not good people, not good at all.

I suppose if I was going to give this a name, I'd call it toxic stress, verging on a real depression.  Because really what I want to do is climb in bed and stay there.  In fact, I tried that yesterday but then, of course, because of the stress, I couldn't sleep or even rest at all.  It's a vicious cycle.

I'm not looking for any advice here, I just needed to lay it out.  To admit that I've got some real serious stuff going on and as of right now, there's no easy solution to any of it. To say that I am once again amazed at how the mental stuff and the head stuff can waylay the best laid plans of mice and men.

14 comments:

  1. No advice here. Just a prayer for peace for you.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yep, I am with Roxie - wish I could help you Helen, but I'll just send you my virtual hugs!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ah that sucks Helen! Sendin ya {{hugs}}

    ReplyDelete
  4. Peace be with you. Sorry for your derailing, and I echo your other peeps in sending hugs. Everything shifts and changes - hang tight 'til they subside a bit.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Ditto to what Roxie said. I can sympathize with the knotted stomach, lack of sleep and over sense of UN-well being. So sorry you're going through a rough time.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hugs to you. Know that you are strong enough to deal with whatever is thrown your way.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hey amiga, I'm back. Let's talk tomorrow, ok?

    ReplyDelete
  8. hugs thoughts prayer and a reminder to let me know if I can ever help.

    Carla

    ReplyDelete
  9. Oh, Helen. I am just barely crawling out of a 9-month derailment, so I wouldn't have any advice even if you wanted some. But you have my empathy, for sure. Hang in there, and good luck sorting things out.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I am SO sorry to hear about your toxic stress. What can I do??

    ReplyDelete
  11. Oh Helen, a double whammy. No good. and no fair. Eventually you will come out stronger on the other side, but who wants to hear that now. Hugs, and a prayer for you this morning.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Sorry to hear about your stress, going to read your other posts of this week now and hope you feel better by now. Big hug for you.

    ReplyDelete