Thursday, February 10, 2011


You know the photo I posted on the Tuesday Ten this week? I know some of you thought that was my cup, but it isn't, it's a picture Karen took of her cup. Last Friday, I was sitting quietly at my desk reading through my Facebook feed when I saw that picture. It took my breath away - it was like Pam came out of nowhere. I started crying. As I sat there a little bit shocked at how emotional and sharp my feelings were, deep down inside I knew it was Pam trying to send me a message. I felt that so strongly, I commented to Karen on the photo.

On Saturday, Mr. Helen and I were out running errands and he said, "It's crazy but in the last 36 hours several family members feel like Pam has sent them a message." My heart started pounding and my ears filled up like the sound of wind and I croaked out, "What? Who?" He said, " Well, Thursday night when I was leaving the dojo I was talking to Kyoshi and when we finished she grabbed my hand and said, 'Sensei, don't you worry, it's all good.'

Also on Thursday evening, my father-in-law was watching a show on TV and the singer/songwriter who was performing looked at the camera and said something along the lines that he had written the song he was about to sing because he felt like sometimes we grieve so much at the death of a loved one that we can't move forward and he really believed that those who pass are in a better place and would want us to know that "it's all good."

On Friday, one of my sisters-in law also had the words spoken to her, and along with me, another saw the words in a photo.  When I told Mr. Helen what happened to me he felt there could be no other explanation than Pam was trying to reach out to us.

While I have always believed in signs (often we ignore them, right?), I don't know that I've ever been part of one that was given to so many people at the same time. Perhaps we were the ones who needed the reassurance, the therapuetic benefit, of knowing that Pam really is at rest, and that we should carry on because it's all good.


The physical therapy on my butt/leg/hip has taken a turn and seems to be improving the issue. The one reason I love this therapist is that she is dogged in her determination to figure out how to stop someone's pain. She did it for me back in 2005 when I tore a tendon in my leg and she did it again in 2006 when I got a case of plantar fasciitis that wouldn't quit. Last week, the pain suddenly shifted and with it, my hip shifted as well. Every single day I would get up and my left hip would be an inch or two higher than my right.  Until I got my muscles warmed up it was actually painful to walk because I was so uneven.

When I crookedly walked into PT last Friday, she poked around a bit and decided I didn't have to have the ouchy Graston.  Instead she began to work on my SI joint and by Sunday I was feeling terrific.  Here's the thing:  SI joint would indicate a back issue, not piriformis, IT band, sciatic nerve.  Yet what we're both still trying to figure out is why I feel so much better after I run.  We know it has something to do with bloodflow to the aggravated area but technically if I am having pain due to a back issue, I shouldn't be able to run as the pounding would hurt too much.  Obviously whatever is going on, it's all connected. But you know what? I don't care at this point! I just want to be fixed and be able to work out properly and not be feeling a throbbing pain 24/7!

Heres the promised photo of the ouchy Graston "wrenches."  Doesn't this look just like a medieval torture kit?


My favorite therapy, hands down, is running.  It's my personal happy hour.  Therefore I had no hesitation to sign on to take part in Lori's Heart Healthy Weekend.  (You can do the heart healthy activity of your choice but why would I do anything else?) I am excited to say, I think I'm going to get to run outside!! Yes, we have finally had a week with no storms (I guess God does hear my insistent begging/whining prayers) and warmer temperatures, so pavement and sidewalks have begun to reappear. While I still wouldn't chance running in my city - too many big mounds of snow at intersections still - I am planning on driving to an area near a state park and doing my run in those suburbs. Dare I say I might try to run 10 miles outdoors? With hills!

Shelley, don't worry, since I will be visible to the public, I might actually try to look reasonably matchy.


  1. This indeed looks like a sign that says Pam's good and in a better place. You can't ignore so many signs.

    Boy are you going to love your Heart Healthy run! I'm happy for you you can run outside.
    I'm in too and will run tomorrow because I have to work all Saturday.

  2. That kit makes me hurt just looking at it! Ouchy, indeed.

    I hope you all are finding peace in your messages from Pam.

    It is also my hope that you find a permanent relief to your pain, whatever it's origin. I can't imagine how it must hurt to walk with your hips so misaligned right now.

  3. The first part of your post gave me goosebumps!!

    Hope you get to run outside - we still have way too much snow - I think I am going to run a 5k at the gym for my Heart Healthy run - maybe even go 4 miles?!

    Everytime I dress to work out, I think Shelley would be embarrassed - as my shirts usually have stains on them and my socks hardly ever match! :D

  4. Your last sentence made me smile...

    And the messages from Pam? Wow. I do believe in things like that - you just have to be open enough to hear them. Very cool that so many family members did. :)

    P.S. Biz is killing me with her comment.

  5. This is weird that I read this post this morning. Last night, I was watching a show on mediums (people who speak with those who are on the other side) and one of the mediums said, "Everyone is capable of interacting with spirits. They just have to be open to signs. Spirits often give signs." Eerily enough, JUST after he said that last word, a balloon fell from the ceiling and landed on my leg.

    I'm a believer in signs...always have been. I think you got a little sign, too. I hope it makes you smile that you're still loved and thought of from billions of miles away. :)

  6. It really is all good. No matter what.

  7. Grief is tough. But sounds like you've been sent a message: It IS all good. Life is good.

    That really does look like a torture kit. Yikes! I'm glad it's feeling somewhat better. And you may get to run outdoors!!!!YAY! So ready for spring. I can't believe the heart healthy blogger weekend is already here.

  8. This had a lot in it. I'm not a 'signs' person, but it was cool to see what was going on in your lives. I try to believe, I do.
    Love that your healer, I mean PT is great. That is just wonderful to have in your life.

  9. So Helen...something I didn't say in our little back and forth on Facebook re the coffee cup is that I think Pam and my Dad must have been conspiring in heaven to let us BOTH know that it is, indeed, all good. I am struggling a bit with my grief over his recent death and have come to realize that I am most likely manifesting it physically more than emotionally. I mean, yeah, I cry now and again, but my body hurts, thus I too am seeing the PT (thanks for the recommendation, by the way). And she's used the torture kit on me too, although it's not really torture to me...I kind of like it hahahaha. She's got other tricks up her sleeve though.

    Anyway, I ALSO went to see my naturopath today because...well...there seemed to be more to the pain than just tendonitis. She definitely thinks my pain is related to my grief. She gave me a homeopathic remedy designed to address both body and mind...I'll keep you posted.

  10. Ive nothing to add but smiles.
    I BELIEVE in what you said about pam and adore what karen commented above me (points upward).

    I believe.


  11. Helen the stories of Pam's message touching so many family members made me cry. That is so amazing! It gives me goose bumps.

    I am doing the happy dance for you that you are getting relief from pain.

  12. Wow Helen. Love the stuff about Pam and 'its all good.'

    And yay for you on a good physical therapist. That's interesting that she was able to treat plantar fasciitis--that stuff is a bugger to get rid of.

    And (as usual) am in awe of your planned run. Yay for outdoors. I will be walking my hills. sigh.

  13. I gave you a little shout out on my blog today Miss Helen :)

  14. I definitely think that's a sign if many people saw/read/heard that same phrase...

    I hope your therapy gets better, that's no fun when you are sidelined.

    Have a great weekend, its a balmy 30 degrees in Chicago today!