Friday, April 1, 2011

No Fear

It's Fingers Friday!
That's Hot! Pink by OPI


Good grief.  We have a Nor'easter rolling through.  It started last night and will finish up some time today. Northern parts of the state are getting enough snow to cause school delays.  We're getting rain, sleet, snow and back to rain.  Last year's rains on this weekend flooded my basement.  So far, we're dry but it's cold and it's no wonder I keep buying spring and sprinkling it anywhere I can find a spot.  Here are the flowers I bought for home this week:

And here are the flowers I bought for my desk


Whatever it takes, right?  Speaking of whatever it takes, I have been so good about keeping my calf wrapped up and taped!  Last weekend when we finally took the tape off we found a pretty good sized purple bruise all around my inner ankle.  That means I had a Grade 2 or 3 calf strain - pretty serious!  Anyway, the bruise is gone and my calf has been feeling good but I'm keeping it wrapped for Muay Thai.  The fact that it feels so much better led me to try and flat out run instead of walking or doing a walk/jog combo.  So far this week I've had 3 decent runs.  Hurray for running!  But do you know what the price of being an Adult Onset Athlete is?  Lots and lots of ice packs.

 Good golly Miss Molly!  It takes a village! One for my calf, one for my hip/butt, one for the arch of my right foot which started pulling this week.


I don't want you to think I forgot about Bagel Wednesday just because I was running around being a Super Hero that day!  Not only did I not forget, but I got up and ran 5.3 miles in anticipation/preparation.  I did switch things up a bit and have it for lunch instead of breakfast.

This was so good.  Pumpernickel bagel with homemade chicken salad that had craisins and walnuts in it. 

If you had asked me in September of 2009 when I started writing Doing A 180 if I would have ever, ever, EVER put photos of myself in a bathing suit at my heaviest weight ever out there where anyone could see them, I would have definitely questioned your sanity! Now remember back then 'I' was anonymous and it would be many months before I'd show my face, but even then I wouldn't have shown a photo with my head cut off.

All motivated by fear. Fear of what "people" might think, or do, or say. Fear of being exposed like that. Which is super ironic because did not the people of St. Martin (where that photo was taken) see me? Ahhh, but they didn't know me so I rationalized it into being OK. Which is silly because as I've said before, when you're overweight, it's already all hanging out there for anyone to see.

I guess all this turning 50 business has been good for the soul and the fear reduction because I have truly reached a point where I'm less and less afraid of revealing my authentic self. Besides, I'm planning to keep on keeping on and pretty soon I'm gonna have more better, more fabulous photos to show you. Just because I've got some extra poundage, it doesn't change who I am at my core. I'm glad I finally realize and acknowledge that!

Mark Twain said, "Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain."  I can say with certainty I am no longer afraid.  In fact, you guys may be running away and covering your eyes what with all the letting it all hang out I'm about to do up in here.

Make it a great weekend in every way!


  1. Oh, man, how do I love the NO FEAR thing? In addition to every other thing you wrote in today's post. All that authentic business really resonates with me.

    And now for something completely different - I thought of you and Mr. Helen in a restaurant the other day - I overheard this guy being "all that and a bag of chips" when trying to explain Muay Thai to a girl he was hitting on. She was both unaware and suitably impressed about the wonders of Muay Thai.

  2. I love the color. Purty pink!

    Hey...wait...are you in PA? Cuz we've got that Nor'easter here (I'm in Philly) and the northern parts are getting snow, could also be in WV or NY. Or...really...anywhere else along the eastern seaboard. I'm going to shut up now because I sound stupid. LOL!

    I love what you said about the pics in St. Martin. That's how I rationalize pics of myself. I can post them HERE in Blogland (but NEVER on FB) because you guys don't know-me-know-me. Hopefully, I'll gain the courage (like you, you brave gal!) to post 'em for all the world to see. Cuz that scares the crud out of me!

    Go, Helen!

  3. Beautiful flowers! Spring is so pretty. :-)

  4. Supreme: Just because I've got some extra poundage, it doesn't change who I am at my core.

  5. Damnit: first thing I see are those beautiful pink nails and it reminds that I still haven't painted my nails yet. I did visit a shop however, in my village that sells OPI but I didn't allow myself to buy it, first I have to paint them at least once with my current nailpolish.

    Hopefully you will think of me every time you see the beautiful tulips as they made our country famous :)

    Your bagel looks delicious!

  6. Thank you for this Helen...I really needed to read it today.

    Here's to our authentic selves. One thing I have realized is that the more comfortable I am with myself, no matter what's on the outside, the more others are comfortable with me...

    Aren't you glad we didn't get any snow!!?

  7. Pretty pink nails and pretty pink and purple spring flowers. You are my "spring fix" for the day, girl! I'm going to go out and get me some (flowers that is). As for the fear thing--it's the biggest motivator (and non-motivator) we humans have in our lives. I'm working on mine, and like you, my authentic self is emerging, and fear is diminishing. I have found that blogging is empowering! Have a great day!

  8. I actually forgot about bagel Wednesday - but I am enjoying my jalapeno cheddar bagel today - totally worth the points!!

    Have a great weekend Helen!

  9. What a great post. Thank you!!! Love the nail color too! (and the beautiful blue stones in the the two rings! LOVE colored gemstones!!)

  10. I remember your headless photos for the longest time - didn't you finally show your face with your 50th birthday pictures? (that was an awesome party, btw). Funny how far we've all come in blogland - I couldn't post my weight - starting or otherwise, for so long. Fear of really, really facing it. Love the "fear connection" we had today. :)

    The flowers are so pretty. I'm impressed that you actively work at making your surroundings beautiful. Good for the soul.

    Oh, and hurray for Fingers Friday! Pretty in pink - fun to always change up the color every couple of weeks.

  11. Great post. I had never seen your before and after bathing suit pics...gave me EVEN MORE respect for you and the work you've done and continue to do for your fitness and well being.


  12. Hope you have super weekend! This Noreaster turned out to be a bit of a bust, which I am dancing around about. I will take rain over inches of snow!

    Glad your calf is doing better.

  13. Yahoo for 50 busting the fear. That kind of happened to me when I turned 50 too.

  14. Your poor calf. Yikes. But it doesn't sound like it's slowing you down much!

    Gorgeous nails and flowers. It certainly looks like spring in your house. :)

    I'm still dealing with fears. I cried once when a person I went to school with found out about my blog. I didn't want anyone to know how big I'd gotten. Still working on those fears.

    You truly inspire me with your blog. Thank you.

  15. Oh, Helen! I've followed you since you were mere feet! You were and still am my super-hero! I read the super-hero post and saw the pictures and what I saw was a strong, beautiful, intelligent woman. I'm sure the people who love you the most and know you the best feel the same way.
    So keep on keeping on!
    You know the tough get going when the going gets tough!

    Love the pink polish and pink tulips are my fave!


  16. I've been working on a post discussing this VERY thing. One of the beautiful things that comes with age is the ability to finally feel semi-comfortable in one's own skin. I wouldn't change that feeling for the world, either.

  17. oh LOVE THIS.
    Im late to the post because I was out living and doing LOTS that I fear as well.

    here's to a great week, Helen!