Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Tuesday Ten: I'm a Cranky Old Lady

10.  You know what I find irritating?  The fact that now that I've reached midlife, my carefully applied morning makeup totally FADES by like 1 p.m..  Unless I put on a whole other layer of primer stuff underneath it all.  So now instead of just applying my eye shadow, I have to prime then apply.  It's so irritating I tell you.  Not to mention twice as expensive for me to be beautiful.

9.  Irritating the heck out of me lately?  Charlie Sheen.  You are not winning.  You are an idiot. Or maybe all those people paying to see his live show and bemoaning the "loss" of the tv show are idots.  Whatever.

8.  Also irritating is the fact that movie theaters LIE about what time the movies start.  If a movie time is listed as 7 p.m. it should START at 7 p.m..  Do not make me eat my whole bucket of popcorn during the endless previews that last for 20 minutes.  I bought that popcorn to eat during the movie!

7.  You know what else I find irritating?  Politicians. (This was one of the upsetting things I was dealing with that I alluded to last week.) I don't want to start any sort of debate up in here and if any of you do I will erase you because this is a family friendly blog. But peeps, I was ready to shoot someone and I didn't care what party they were affiliated with.  Had the gov'ment shut down, Mr. Helen would have been unemployed until further notice and unable to use or take any of the six weeks of vacay he has on the books so that we could have a paycheck.  And some groceries.  That's irritating.

6.  Somewhat irritating?  Husbands who don't listen because they are zoned out on some sport or MMA fighting or Animal Planet.  Then you have to repeat yourself. and still aren't sure they heard you.  This is almost as irritating as husbands who talk and make snarky remarks all the way through "Real Housewives."

5.  Miss Manners would be appalled irritating?  The way people think they can talk to each other via written communication.  I swear, folks will say things via email or on a blog comment or on Facebook that they would not have the guts to say to someone face to face in real life.  Family included.  We need to do more talking.

4.  Which leads to what else I find irritating.  Too much talking via people on their damn cell phones inappropriately.  I do not want to listen to your whole conversation in a grocery store line, on the elevator, sitting in a waiting room, at the movie theater and really, really, really NOT AT A RESTAURANT.  In fact I'm beginning to think there should be mandatory cell phone check rooms at restaurants! How on earth we survived all the years prior without being constantly connected may be one of the world's great mysteries.

3.   Irritating?  Overuse of words.  Lately the one that is bugging the crap out of me is "Amazing."  Not every damn thing is Amazing.  Sometimes things are just plain old good and that is good enough. I recently had to hide some FB friends because of the overuse of this word.  I'm not kidding.

2.  Super irritating?  Having to sit 8 hours a day at a job where you don't have enough work to keep you busy, all because you need the paycheck.  Especially when there's hours and hours of things you could be doing at home.

1.  Maybe most personally irritating of all?  To follow the rules, do the right thing, stay the course, be decisive and still not get results. Only to see someone who is sort of wishy washy and half-assed and a fly by the seat of their pants type seeming to get it all.  I know you think I'm just talking about weight loss, and while that might be some of it, I'm talking about many other things as well.  Feel free to add your own personal irritations in the comments!


  1. have you had your coffee yet? LOL

    my pet peeve is very lame...I hate when the family opens packages ie. cereal boxes, cracker boxes, chips (for them, not me) and just rips open the top. That just sends me over the edge. Man I should have such trivial things to be upset over...

    love your blog...

  2. Miss Helen is wearing her crankypants this morning ;-).

    10. I put on makeup once. If it fades, then others will just have to look the other way to avoid serious injury.
    9. Sad. Sick. Delusional. And those are just his fans.
    8. Gotta disagree here - I love previews almost as much as the movie and extra time for popcorn is a BONUS!
    7. No one covered themselves with glory on either side.
    6. n/a
    5. Agreed.
    4. Agreed.
    3. Amazing insight, Helen.
    2. Agreed.
    1. It's hard not to let the insides of us look at the outsides of someone else.

    I hope you have an A-Mazing day, Helen. ;-)

  3. Oh boy this is something I like because I’m a grumpy old woman sometimes.

    So I’m going to respond on as much of your cranky top 10 as I can, this is fun!

    10. Not in a midlife crisis yet but do understand the irritation. For me it’s my eyeshadow that needs to be refreshed at noon which I, of course, always forget. Plus I can’t get out the door for at least one hour after waking up, that’s how long the wrinkles in my face need these days to go away after sleeping.

    9. I love Charlie Sheen in Two and a half men and I don’t agree that they fired him because of his lifestyle. But I agree that it’s too much at the moment, it’s getting pathetic.

    8. Same here with movies. We know found a theatre where someone tells you how many previews there are (not more than 2) and no commercials. Love it!

    7. I don’t like politics at all and don’t have much interest in it.

    6. Are we married to the same guy? I cannot even say anything during Moto GP or Formula 1. But I have to tell everything about everyone if I’m watching one of my favorite shows and he happens to see a bit of it too.

    5. Couldn’t agree more! I always try to stay polite at blogs and in emails and rethink about what I’m going to write. I’ve seen a lot of rude comments pass by since I started blogging.

    4. TOTALLY AGREE! No smoking in public places and no mobile phones in public places. What irritates me even more is when I’m talking to someone and his or her phone rings and it’s answered. What am I? Invisible? It’s unpolite and rude.

    3. Laughing out loud here! Amazing LOL

    2. Agree! Been in that position a few weeks back and hated it. At the moment I’ve got enough work.

    1. That’s the problem: people who are to nice are left out it seems. The brutal ones get the whole world.

    My personal irritations, well you’ve catched a few in your post today.

    Gadgets that don’t work: all ready to go out for a run and Garmin or Ipod refuses to work. When it happens during a run I stop and go home because I’m so irritated.

    People at the stores who are in the grocery store line behind you and ask if they can go before you because they are in a hurry. Answer is always no: they should have shopped earlier so they would be in time for their next appointment.

    Sales people who call you at home. Tackled that by taking an unlisted number. And when I have to leave my telephone number at a website where I just want information I switch a few numbers so they can’t call me.

    The girl from UPS that rings at my doorbell and almost immediately turns around assuming you are not home because you weren’t lying behind the door waiting for her. Man I’ve almost fallen a few times from the stairs to get downstairs.

    Well this must be the longest comment you’ve ever got from me. Hope it didn’t irritate you LOL

  4. These are GREAT! LOL!

    As for my husband zoning out...it's always with his stupid "Crackberry." And he's getting an iPhone soon. I'll officially be a single mom once that happens because my husband's face will be permanently planted on that thing. Ugh! Haha!

  5. I'm definitely turning into a crank. It's happening more and more with us public employees. There are fewer of us doing more and we're just told to be grateful to have a job at all. But that won't keep me from rolling my eyes on the phone. It's my only permissible come-back.

  6. LOL! When we get cranky like this, we call it a "You kids get offa my lawn!" moment. Whether or not kids are involved...

    My word peeve - epic. How can a sandwich or a salad be epic? Seriously.

  7. I tend to over-use the word "Awesome!"
    Now that I'm a Blonde, I'll have to really think
    harder to get a better word!

  8. Haha, the cranky old lady in me LOVES this post. Too many things irritate me--I need to write my own post. The one that comes to mind immediately: People who talk to me on the phone while chomping on food. Make me want to KILL!!

  9. I love this post, and I loved the end of Fran's comment. In fact, the comments are all amazingly awesome and epic! (ducks)

    No, seriously. Along the lines of #6 is the husband who comes in when you are watching Survivor and keeps asking "who is this" while they are talking - I have to listen to find out their strategy and don't have TIME to answer him! So I have to keep pausing the show in order to respond, which eventually leads to the "I just wanted to spend some time with you" comment, SIGH. Honestly, if he wants to spend some time with me, take me to Red Mango. Men!

    Oh hi, I'm not cranky. ;)

    And actually, I'm impressed that you've made it this far without having the make up fade...mine has been doing that for years. I figured it was normal! Tried the primer, but honestly, I can barely be bothered with what I do now, so that extra step rarely happens.

    Oh, and cell phones in the grocery stores? Are to check with the person back home - "did you mean Dijon mustard or regular mustard?" - things like that. Not whole conversations. I swear one of these days I'm going to comment on one, just to let the person know that EVERYONE can her them!

    *joins Lori in shaking her fist at those dang kids on her lawn*

  10. Amazing post! LOL Sorry I couldn't help it. I catch myself overusing words sometimes.

    People on Bluetooths (or Blueteeth). They walk into a grocery store talking but they're not holding anything so I almost always reply to them or say "Excuse me?" because I think they're talking to me then I feel like a complete idiot.

    Charlie Sheen is in trouble. Something is wrong with that dude. Losing!

    I trust no politician.

    My irritants:
    smacking gum
    cars that try to kill me on the road
    my husband crunching ice (I love everything else about him but that one gets under my skin)
    door to door salespeople (whether it be for meat, lawn service or religion)

    Dang. I'm getting irritated just thinking about the things that irritate me. Weird.

    That's funny about the "get off my lawn" statement. Chuck and I always say that in our best old man voice when we're being snarky.

  11. I am so with you on this one!!

    Super irritating? Having to sit 8 hours a day at a job where you don't have enough work to keep you busy, all because you need the paycheck. Especially when there's hours and hours of things you could be doing at home.

    After I spent 3 hours boxing up 33 boxes of files leaving our office, I had nothing to do. And I have nothing to do right now - not one piece of paper to file, no shredding - nothing! Hence why my blog post today was so long!

    And there is a woman at my gym who talks on the phone THE WHOLE TIME she's on the treadmill - annoying!!


  12. ummm. I think I'm with you on all of your points. I'm pretty sure I overuse "Fantastic" hee hee....
    And the Mr. not listening... yup!
    Politicians - freaks!
    And mobile phones - nothing irritates me more than seeing two folks sitting at the same table on the phone. One night we were all commenting on this so we each picked up our phones, called each other and talked over the phone - was hilarious at the time - might have something to do with the beer :)

  13. I've been massively irritable and a royal bee-atch for the last week. No tolerance for bullshit, and there is a lot of it around.
    10. having never been beautiful and not wearing makeup usually, this hasn't arisen as an issue.
    9. Charlie, STFU! Total agreement.
    8. check
    7. Don't get me started
    6. Hubby with sports. He keeps saying "we can keep the volume all the way down, but then he's lost in the visual and clearly dying to hear commentary
    5. Other than my own family, who does talk, i agree.
    4. God yes
    3. I like really like know what you're like saying. It would be totally like awesome if people would knock that shit off.
    2. I'm fairly lucky with work. Busy enough, not so much that I can't write out this lengthy comment on their dime.
    1. double check.

    Okay, I feel better. Thanks for op to vent.

  14. I promise not to say that this was an "amazing" post. :)
    I didn't know Mr. H worked w/ the gov. I am so glad they didn't shut down for you and for so many reasons.
    I am guilty of some of those things, but I will try to be better so as not to irritate you :)
    AND....you are beautiful...no need for the reapply, but, I have heard about so many joys of old age, this makeup scam is a new one.

  15. I have one to add that has been bugging me lately. Adults who keep getting out their cell phones to text with other friends or check their emails in a social situation. At our house we had a rule for our high school age kids and their friends that no cell phone use was allowed at the dinner table. They are now in college and we still observe that rule when they are eating with us.

    Then come along our adult friends who whip out their cell phones at the dinner table! I do tell them in a joking way that we have a rule against that. One guy gets his out to play games! Why bother getting together if we are less interesting than the game he is playing!

    I understand if someone is expecting a business call, we have a friend who is a hospital chaplain and he is often on call- sometimes my hubby is expecting a business call during a social event - if your kids call you or text I get that you need to respond.

    Thanks for the letting me cranky!

  16. Ooh! Kelly's husband crunching ice reminds me of when mine clacks his Atomic Fireball candy against his teeth. Repeatedly. must.resist.punching.him. ;)

  17. I've been definitely using the word "amazing" a lot lately...but damn, a lot of truly amazing things have happened!!

    And there's nothing wrong with a little crank-fest now and then.

  18. Go Helen Go!!! Love this!!! And so many of your list is my list too! ESPECIALLY the cell phone thing and Charlie Sheen and the people encouraging him to be an ass by buying tickets,
    Some others for me?
    1) Sharing very close space at work with someone who grunts and clears her throat about once a MINUTE! It's like working next to an animal in heat.
    2) The expression 'my bad'.
    3) Drivers who cut you off, then give you the finger. Charming!
    4) Celine Dion (and the oversharing about her fertility issues)
    5) People who wear a TON of stinky perfume.

    I have others, but I'll stop. Great post! Hope your day gets less irritating.

  19. Charlie Sheen is so a month ago. He is off the radar.

    I love your #6 because you mentioned Animal Planet and Real Housewives and how husbands don't listen. And it's all so true.

    It's amazing how many times you used the word irritating in that post.

    My main bugaboo/irritation aside from the use of the word bugaboo is the phrase "whole nuther."

  20. I like cats...pretty little furry friends. I like cats in photographs, on video, even in your house, I like cats.
    But the 3 who live in the house opposite to mine, who think my front garden is their personal toilet, who clearly eat 5 kilos each a day if the sheer volume of cat poop is anything to go by....the 3 cats whose paws mark the bonnet of my car where they presumably sit and clean up after s***ting all over my garden.THOSE cats I could dream up all kinds of treats - my favourite dream event would be all three hitching a lift to a happy cat sanctuary somewhere far far away!.
    ME ...i don't do cranky, not me x ( unless of course you're a cat and you've just settled down in your favourite spot in my front garden)

  21. you arent cranky!
    You are a curmudgeon like I am.

    and dont we love the word curmudgeon?
    it's AWESOME :)


  22. I'm with you on Charlie Sheen and cell phone use! Really? Facebook is so important you have to check it every minute? and Really? You have to text someone while I'm trying to have a conversation with you?

    Here's my contribution-people who say they married/are going to marry their best friends! And they say it like it's the ultimate compliment! After I throw-up in my mouth a little, I want to tell them that if they are really marrying their "best-friend" they better run for the hills! Because, Really? I have a best friend and I have no desire to marry her!


  23. I think the older we get the less B.S. we tolerate. We've been there and done that, and there are just some things we don't want to do or put up with any more. I say "yay" for us. I agree with what you say.

    I am becoming irritated with some of my friends who won't call me but will only communicate through text or email. Who do they think they are--teenagers?

    My personal husband pet peeve: When he falls asleep on the couch after dinner and then wakes up and wants to be filled in on what the current tv program is all about--and then he falls asleep again and repeats the process. I love him anyway. Maybe that's the way men are when they get older--they get tired. We women just get crankier and tolerate less B.S., simply because we had to tolerate more when we were younger.

  24. Wow! Are we the same person? I've had my grumpy had on for the last two weeks (and my broomstick too!). I agree with all of them. I freaking hate cell phones the most. I often think of all the mindless chatter filling the airwaves. The "hi, watcha doing?" Who freaking cares?