Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Love Your Body Day

In yesterday's comments, Janell informed me that today is Love Your Body Day.  I didn't know that so her comment made me go off looking around the internets to see what she was talking about.  The Now Foundation has put together a whole website fighting back against the unrealistic standards against body and beauty that we are faced with on a day-to-day basis, in print advertisements and on television.

I know for a fact that the images that have been presented to me over the years have definitely affected the way I view my own body and its worth.  I've even been aware of it for enough years that I determined when Little Helen was born that I would do everything in my power to convince her that she was beautiful just the way she was and no matter how much she weighed.  It's something I think a lot about and wonder if I was successful.  She and I have never really talked about it, maybe becuase I'm afraid my own years of self-destructive thoughts and dieting have influenced her in ways that I really don't want to know about.

I did recently have a conversation with my sister talking about what years we considered to be the best years of our lives.  Ironically, the years of my life that I've always said I loved the best are the years that had me at the age she is now.  Yet if I'm honest, those were very difficult years in many ways and I now believe the only reason I've felt that way is because at that time I was truly satisfied with my weight and body.  I actually loved myself a teensy bit.  I came to that conclusion because of a statement I made to her -something I said without reflecting too much but that came straight from the heart. 

"All these weight issues I've had over the last years make me angry.  I've now aged to the point where I've lost my chance to be truly beautiful and sexy.  It really does make me sad that my husband will never have a gorgeous, sexy wife ever again."

I enjoyed those years, the years before age, hormones and bad thyroid destroyed the little bit of love I had for my body. 

So now I must look for body love in other ways, because not only are those days forever gone, but you really cannot cry over spilled milk.  No focusing on the past, nor on current regret.  I must clear my vision and look toward the future.

The one thing I do know, is that I will figure this out... and I won't allow the anorexic standards of print and Hollywood to determine where my future takes me.  There's nothing attractive or sexy or loving about that.


  1. Isn't she scary? I saw her photo yesterday on a Dutch website where it said she has lost more weight since her marriage problems started. But before that I think she was to thin too.

    I can't say to people to love their body, it's something we all have to do by ourselves. I can't say I love mine very much but I don't hate it either. I do know that since I started eating low carb last Monday already my body feels more comfortable than it has in months.

  2. I've definitely been affected by media images and have been hard on myself for not living up to those images. Now, I am kind of in the "it is what it is" phase. When I started this last (and final) weight loss journey and got into sizes that I hadn't worn in a million years, I had moments of regrets. Here I was, finally able to fit into the clothes I always wanted and now I was "too old" to wear them without looking like I'm trying to be a teenager! LOL! Oh well.
    Anyway, I think you are one sexy mama! It's not too late for us, Helen!! Sexy is more about confidence, how we carry ourselves and loving the skin we're in! :)

  3. I second Marisa's comment...who gets to say what is sexy and beautiful and gorgeous? We do. And damnit, I don't care if it's like the Emperor’s New Clothes (meaning maybe I am deluded in thinking that my body is okay the way it is?). It feels so much better to be happy with myself...and, even though my body isn't perfect, it's probably healthier and lighter than it would be if I hated it.

  4. This sounds like a conversation I had with Chuck recently! I have to come to peace with the fact that my body is never going to look like the images of "pretty" girls I see on tv and magazines. I have stretch marks (that don't tan, by the way!!!!) and sagging bits and wrinkled bits and lumpy bits. But this body lets me do things!!! And my hubby loves it.

  5. I also agree with Marisa - you are a sexy momma! And I am lucky to have a husband that loves me no matter what - yep I have a muffin top and saggy boobs, but he tells me I look beautiful every day and when he kisses me good night, he says "I love that face!"

    Kinda makes it hard to beat myself up after hearing that. :D

  6. I am going to try to post again, I hope it isn't a double post. My son erased all of my account passwords and history and I am having a terrible time!

    I love what Marisa said "Sexy is more about confidence, how we carry ourselves and loving the skin we're in!"

    Your husband still thinks you are sexy, because you are!

  7. You know when those rag magazines post unflattering pictures of stars with wrinkly knees, or cellulite, or *egads* a tummy pooch, I look at them and think "wow, they look like ME" - and that is when I remember how photo-shopped most of the images we see are...or, in Demi's case, how unhappy they must be.

    I agree with Marisa - confidence gives you an air of empowerment and sexiness (if that's what you want). I don't want to look sexy (too shy!)...I just want to feel good about myself. Some days, I do. :)

  8. I am talking on this topic today, too! Yay!

    I know it is totally cliche, but sexy and beautiful really comes from the inside. Yes, a hollywood star looks beautiful in photos, but then when you hear some of them talk and what awful people some of them are - much less beautiful. Same thing goes in real life. You know those people you love to be around because they are confident and love themselves and it just feels good to be with them, whether they fit a media standard of beauty or not.

    I worry about my nieces. While I understand airbrushing and the improbability of the majority of women to fit the media ideal - I doubt my 14 and 7 year old nieces get it. Even if you tell them, the TV is unfortunately a very powerful influence.

  9. I know what you mean helen. I am 37...and I can look attractive in clothes, but the years of abuse I have heaped on my own body cannot be erased simply by loosing weight. I don't have a perky 20 year old body. I won't have it ever. But I have accepted that my body is not the sum total of my being, thank goodness. Sexy is fleeting...a woman who is mature and thoughtful and full of love for those around her is priceless. never forget that.

  10. This is a fantastic post Helen. And I love Marissa's comment! Time to remind ourselves again to Silence the Inner critic and be a bit kinder to ourselves. Have a wonderful Thursday.

  11. my point of view after looking at your profile pic on here..... you are beautiful.