By my lunchtime I was tired of feeling hungry and thought some distraction might help so I took a ride to TJ Maxx. I've been on the hunt for a new Calphalon 8" skillet for a couple months and I finally scored! I also bought that outfit for my Caribbean trip that's coming up the end of April. Interestingly enough, even though I walked through the aisle that has the gourmet foods, all I bought was some sea salt. Evidently I was distracted.
When I'm having a day like this, trouble waits for me once I get home. To further intensify everything, on Wednesdays Mr. Helen is always occupied with our nephew for their weekly "man time." So I was home alone and could have eaten anything I wanted in peace. (Secret eating anyone?)
Obviously I could have used more distraction but I already had my pajamas on so I wasn't motivated to get up and go out. I'm not one to jump into Blogger and do a short post about how I feel, although there's nothing wrong with that. But I did get on Facebook and wrote this as my status:
I hate having hungry days. H-A-T-E them. I've eaten good healthy food in the proper portions all day but still I feel hungry. I sit and think is it stomach hunger? Is it emotional hungr? What is it? It just seems no matter what I do I'm hungry. There's a distinct possibility that I will be in bed by 6:30 simply so that I don't eat.That little status update ended up having 40+ comments before I actually did go to bed. Probably the most comments I've ever gotten on a status update. Definitely more comments than I've ever gotten on a blog post and I have more followers than FB friends. Interesting.
I was just venting, but I got advice anyway. Most of what I got, I've used at one time or another and ran the gamut:
"Drink hot tea"
"Try knitting" (not from Shelley believe it or not!)
"Eat a little good protein"
"Chew on ice"
along with a couple of diatribes on food and menopause from one of Mr. Helen's classmates who is a teensy bit nutty and I think suggested I twirl around while eating seaweed or something like that - ah well we've all got at least one FB friend like that, right? Even my mother eventually jumped in (though as a separate post on my wall because she doesn't quite get FB yet) suggesting I brush my teeth and go to bed. As this was the next morning I filed that one away to use on Thursday if necessary.... I also got lots and lots and lots of empathy comments and offers of knitting needles and yarn LOL!
I think what astounded me most was whether it was advice being given or just empathy there are so many of us who deal with this. Misery really does love company! Others would have no way of knowing, but I looked at those comments and realized that some women who commented, I consider to be "normal" eaters. Women who have been at a good weight and are good exercisers for all the time I've known them. Which basically screamed to me that it's not just those of us who are overweight or have food issues that go through this! Somehow I found comfort in that. Additionally, one of the commenters pointed out that it was only women who were responding - does this mean that when a man is hungry he eats? Does this fall into that same category of women asking "Does this make me look fat... my thighs too big?" etc. whereas it wouldn't occur to most men to ever say anything like that. Things to mull over and lessons to be learned, at least for me.
Very, very interesting indeed. As one commenter said, " Please let me know when you have resolved this issue. " I wish I had resolved it, but no. I never did come to any sort of conclusion and sort of just used sheer willpower and thoughts of my butt in a bathing suit in 9 weeks not to eat another thing.
While I sat and waited for it to be time to go to bed, I found this on Pinterest (what would I do without all my social networking sites?!) and printed it out for my fridge and my desk. I have my eyes on a prize and I want to stay focused. Things like the comments on my FB status, this blog, my friends both in real life and virtual, and inspirational sayings help. They help a great deal.
Bottom line is that 'I' am worth everything. If I need to eat, I will. If I don't, I suppose I'll continue to rely on the power of social networking and wait for the yarn and knitting needles to arrive at my house.