I tried to respond to the email you sent but it bounced back as "unknown." Maybe I should be flattered that you created that email address just to send one email to me. Or maybe I should just call you out for the troll you probably are. In any case, I want to write you back so I thought I'd respond here. You say you won’t read my blog again, which
is fine, but I suspect you will lurk because something about me is driving you crazy.
Yes indeed, I had a great checkup at the doctor and was
pleased with my results. But the fact
remains that I have a long way to go.
Contrary to what you think, I am not a perfect eater or exerciser and I’m
certainly not the “Perfect Prissy Princess” you said I am.
As we all do, I have some particular personality traits and characteristics that
cause me to live and act the way I do. Years ago
Mr. Helen and I took a marriage enrichment class and part of the class was to
have a personality test called the DISC assessment. The DISC assessment grid looks like this:
At the end of the test I was told what I’ve known about
myself all along: I tested as a very high
D. So high I fact that the
instructor said only a very small percentage of the population tests the way I did. A high D is defined as:
Very active in dealing with problems and
challenges, High "D" people are described as demanding, forceful,
egocentric, strong willed, driving, determined, ambitious, aggressive, and
If you are so inclined, you can read a bullet list of my characteristics here.
The other small percentage of my personality tested as a C (read here) which is
defined as someone who adheres to rules, regulations, and
structure. They like to do quality work and do it right the first time. "C"
people are careful, cautious, exacting, neat, systematic, diplomatic, accurate,
As you can see from the grid, I am not a people person; I am
100% a task person. Each time I am faced
with something that I can approach as a task to be finished, I tend to excel
because I hammer away at it. These
personality characteristics mean my soul thrives on that sort of stuff.
I don’t need much socialization nor do I have many friends. That’s
also a “D” personality trait – we tend to have very, very few people we trust
and consider true friends. It’s probably
telling that one of the people I consider to be a good friend is literally a
virtual friend, someone I have never met in real life. I’ve held many jobs
where I am by myself in an office all day long and I’m fine with that. I’m actually not sure what I would do if I
suddenly found myself working with a group of people all the time.
I have such a teeny bit of the C personality I can tell you
for a fact that I did not inherit the diplomatic and tactful traits. I am a say what I think person – don’t ask me
for my opinion unless you really want it and are willing to hear whatever I
have to say. The one thing I've learned
to do (most of the time) as I’ve matured is to not speak right away. I’m not sure if that means that I've
absorbed some of Mr. Helen’s people person traits (and my personality has shifted a bit towards I/S) and care what others might
think, or if I just don’t want to deal
with the backlash I might get if I speak too quickly.
So, this weight loss business and exercise are a task for me.
While some people find it hard to get in their exercise, I view it as a task to
be done – it’s a daily appointment that I rarely consider breaking. Everyday I have an appointment to exercise and I keep it. Then I can check it off my task list. Your snide remark in the email about how I “think I’m all that – all athletic and stuff”
is your opinion of me, but it is not my opinion of myself, nor is it true. I am so not athletic and I am quite sure if you met me in person you would be astonished by the amount of fat and rolls and wrinkles I have. It's true: many, many times I've gotten the "YOU are a a runner?!" exclamation from others.
I’ve been working at my overall task of getting back to
pre-thyroid weight for many years and have never managed to complete it. One
reason is the medical issue, but the bigger reason is that I am not
perfect at all. I have my temptations,
slips, and complete spirals downward just like anyone else.
When I’m tired, I want to eat even if I’m not hungry. Sometimes I want to eat because I am stressed to the max, or simply because
something looks good, or smells good – and if it tastes really good then I
often want to overeat. Sometimes I have two martinis on Saturday instead of just the one I plan for. Sometimes I take an extra handful of nuts but don't count them. Yes, lots of
times I am able to set that aside, but believe me I’ve had my days when I’ve
eaten an entire (fill in the blank) and hated myself for it afterwards.
Blogging is a funny thing because people who read think they
really know you but the truth is, they really only know what you choose to
write about. Just because I am trying to reinforce the positive within myself and don’t write
about every downfall I have, doesn’t mean at all that I’m trying to present
myself as perfect, because I’m not and I know it.
Maybe you'll be glad to know your email made me cry and want to stop blogging. Who knows, maybe I still will. Would that satisfying your trolling soul?
No, I’ll take that back. I'm not going to let your cowardice stop me. Also, you should know that I am perfect at one thing: being me.