Tuesday, June 5, 2012

A Size, Not A Weight & Other Things I Haven't Said

Almost two full months ago, after a good hard run, I started having a pulling sensation in my left leg high up on the outside, almost to the joint where the leg meets the hip.  I immediately started rolling it and taking some Motrin but it progressively got worse and worse - to the point where even if I didn't run, during the simple act of walking I would feel a tug, tug, tug with every step.  First thing in the morning it was pretty debilitating and I had more runs that started with trying to walk it off than I cared for.

Then one morning I got up and my lower back - on the right side - was extremely sore and fatigued and feeling like if I wasn't very careful it was going to go out.  Again, as the day would go on, I would loosen up but holy carp, the mornings were really hard and it was extremely difficult to even want to do my 4:30 am running. Oh, and my left foot started feeling like it was getting a bad case of plantar fasciitis.  This is the foot that has the neuroma so if that was flared up too you can imagine what trying to take a normal step felt like, much less running. Good grief! However, I was close to going away on vacation so I gritted it out because I knew I'd get some rest. For me, vacation has always been an exercise optional time.  There is a season for everything and that includes rest. I take one outfit but if I don't use it I don't care nor do I feel guilty.  As I've never been one to have a difficult time restarting exercise, I am perfectly fine with 'vacating' everything.

Unfortunately, after a full week of rest I came home pretty discouraged - everything was still achey and I was starting to feel like the real problem might be originating in my back - on both sides.  Gah.  Though I gave it a good try, I had a very difficult time getting back into my routine.  It's hard to get up at 4 am and be raring to go when you hurt from head to toe. After two weeks at home, I took off again to visit Little Helen and decided to once again take the time I was away as a rest period.  Mind you, we did a ton of walking while I was there and by the end of that trip the tugging in the leg was becoming less and less, though the foot issue seemed to be getting worse.

When I returned home after Memorial Day, I began my normal exercise routine and what do you know all the issues began to flair up again.  I guess I'm getting the message that the left side of my body is pretty unbalanced and I'm going to have to get with some sort of doctor.  This whole situation has been quite frustrating and discouraging!

For the time being, I am rolling, icing, and getting Mr. Helen to massage my sore foot.  I also decided to try to stick with the treadmill as much as I can to give myself a softer surface until some of this stuff calms down.  That has actually been easy as it has been grey and dreary and raining and cold.  Yep, cold.  48 degrees overnight, for example.

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I am in deep love with my Zero Scale.  Never thought I'd say that about a scale but it's true.  This tool has completely kept me from worrying and agonizing about my weight.  I jump on, see progress (or don't!) and for the most part it doesn't affect my mood in regards to my weight.

Still, I haven't been using it very much as during most of the month of May as I was away on vacation and in vacation mode, which means I give myself a break from the scale and food tracking.  It doesn't mean I allow myself to go completely off the rails but I will say a little more pasta was consumed than I would normally partake of.  Delicious pasta is not Paleo or Primal or anything that should be eaten in quantity unless one is training for a marathon or some other such endurance event, which I am not.

Recently a co-worker turned to me and told me I was looking really good and wanted to know what my goal weight was, as in her opinion I must be getting close.  While I think I've always realized it, somehow her asking solidifed in my mind that I no longer have a goal weight.  I do have a goal size and to be honest I'm not exactly sure what I will weigh when I get there.  The last time I wore my goal size was 5 years ago and I distinctly remember how good I felt and how little I actually thought about weight or food.  Maybe that's why I want to get there again.

I also have a long term goal to be at that size when my friend Em gets married in October.  I think it's going to require me to lose around 15 more lbs., so really I've only gotten around halfway through the weight loss I need to get to my size goal and now it's time to get down to brass tacks.

I've always admired Lori's habit of setting monthly goals.  Somehow they seem more reasonable and reachable than trying to attack a big mountain.  As May wound down I sort of cooked up a plan and I started a personal challenge on June 1.  My goal in June is to lose 6 pounds.  That weight I want to lose already feels less overwhelming and totally doable by October... assuming I don't vacate too much between now and then!

28 comments:

  1. Ouch Helen! I do hope you have things looked into to see what is causing your tugging pain. I have sciatic pain that is acting up again in my right leg and it causes me to have to walk slower for my morning exercise and sit less - which I guess is a good thing!

    I like your attitude about your "goal weight" and it is similar to mine. I don't need to weigh a certain number or wear a specific jean size it's more about how I want to look.

    Love the idea of making a monthly goal, it's easier to work on things a little at a time.

    Wishing you quick healing and less pain.

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  2. I'll have to check out this scale of which you speak...sounds intriguing!

    I hope you get to the bottom of whatever is going on with your left side. I can only imagine how frustrating it must be for you.

    I totally agree on the weight/size thing. Really, all I care about is for my favorite jeans to fit/feel a certain way.

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  3. Dear stubborn friend: go see a doctor please. You're walking too long with this issues. There's definitely something not right in your body right now and you need to get someone to look at it.
    I do understand you however because I would keep going too. I'm very good at ordering someone to go see a doctor but am stubborn when it concerns myself.

    Knowing you the way I do I'm sure you will be at size weight in October. Once you set your mind to it, you do it.
    I have to be honest that I've gained a little bit of weight lately but with my upcoming vacation I will handle that once I get back. Vacation is rest from exercise for me too but this time I'm bringing my running gear because everytime I'm in Italy I say to R. that I would love to run there but I never did. Maybe I just run once, maybe not at all but I want to have my stuff with me in case I want to.

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  4. I hope you're able to figure out what's going on! As someone with hip/glute/low back issues, I sympathize. Stretching/yoga/mobility exercises have helped tremendously!

    Having a goal size instead of a goal weight has been freeing for me, too, although my goal size is more vague than yours. It's not an actual number, but the way my body feels in the clothes.

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  5. I love mini goals...great way to pare down something that can look a bit overwhelming, right? I'm sorry you're still hurting - agree with Fran, it's (past) time to go get this checked out...after all, you like to move too much to hurt this bad.

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  6. So sorry that you're experiencing pain, and I hope it clears up for you. I also like your idea of having a goal size, instead of a goal weight. Back in my "thin"days, I thought much less about weight than I did about how my clothes fit. Best of luck with your pain, Helen. Be sure to take good care of yourself!

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  7. Pain sucks! Sorry you're going through this. Hope you can get a diagnosis soon and get it worked out. You were having problems with your hip a while back, right? Tried the Gaston technique? I may have the name wrong.

    I also have a goal size and can't wait to get there. Too bad pasta and bread won't get us there.

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    1. That hip thing actually ended up being a back issue and yes,they tried Graston but it hurt and I bruised so much I wouldn't do a second treatment!

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  8. Do you stretch very much before and after running? It wasn't until I started doing the 30 minute Classical stretch that I realized how tight my muscles were - and my plantar facistis (sp?!) let's me know when I've skipped a couple days.

    I think 6 pounds in June is a good goal - I might just steal it from you! I really need to learn how to follow blogs - I just now realized you posted this morning!

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    1. I'm a good stretcher always have been. I think I'm just old now.

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  9. Agreed. See a doctor. I need a zero scale.

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    1. Yes doctor. To both. Buy that scale you'll love it.

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  10. Here's another recipe for you! I am so bored at work, it's been slow, so you may have to get used to me leaving random recipes on your blog! :D

    http://whatdidyoueat.typepad.com/what_did_you_eat/2008/01/whb-vietnamese.html

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  11. Helen - this sounds like it might be sciatica (been there, hated it). Could be a from a bulging disk if you are talking about the lower back (been there, still there). Definitely get it checked out - no waiting!

    Love that you are breaking the goal into smaller increments. Makes it so much more doable, and I know you can do it!

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    1. I know Lori. I'm just dreading going to the doctor... not because I'm afraid of the diagnosis, but because even with my insurance, the co-pays are pretty hefty and having been in physical therapy or chiropractic care in the past I know it's going to cost some $$ I'd rather spend on running shoes!

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    2. At times like this I'm glad I live in Holland. Our insurance is always covered no matter what you have. We have a own risk of about 175 dollars a year but after that everything is covered.

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    3. Wow - Holland has it going on when it comes to health care!!!

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  12. Sorry to hear about the aches and pains! What a pain! I get so frustrated sometimes that my body cannot perform like it did when I was 20! So not fair. I hope you can find some relief from a Dr.
    I like the size goal and the zero scale. The number on the scale can be so depressing sometimes.

    xo,
    Linda

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  13. ooooh I could have written much of this post, too.
    I SOOO GET THE CHALLENGE of getting up and gogogoing when you hurt from waist to toe (thats me :))

    keep us posted please.

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  14. I hope when you go to the dr that it will be something minor that can be fixed with a little physical therapy!

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  15. Oh owch Helen!!!! Sorry to read about the lingering pain. Hopefully you'll be sorted out and back in the running groove soon (though I remain in awe of your ability to run with a neuroma! You're my neuroma rock star!!)

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  16. I like the idea of the Zero Scale.....but. Don't t you remember your start number and do the math in your head anyway every day? Maybe that's just me!

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    1. Actually no. I had no idea what I weighed when I started,only what size clothes I was wearing. Still don't know my actual weight :)

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  17. 6 pounds sounds good. I'll join you.

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    Replies
    1. Great! And now I feel pressure to behave better...

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