Monday, September 10, 2012

Helen Two Point Oh One Two

When I announced at the end of 2011 that the world should look out because Helen 2.012 was on the way, I had no idea that Helen 2.012 would actually be a slower, fatter version of Helen 2.011.  Helen 2.011 was doing so well - things were actually going great.  I was losing around a pound a week, my running was great and was actually speeding up, and I was consistently doing a short but sweet strength training program.  I actually made it to Helen 2.012 and 1/4 before it all fell apart.

While I haven't gained back everything I'd lost up until my foot injury in April, I've gained back way more than I would have liked.  I've pretty much spent the summer struggling to exercise enough, medicating with food, and on occasion, adult beverages. (For whatever reason I have no problem abstaining from alcohol for the most part - maybe because my running and Muay Thai feel better when I don't partake?)  Truly food is my medication of choice and more specifically food like white pasta and desserts and cheese and things that really should be only occasional treats.  As my pants will now testify, I had way too many treats.

I have so many reasons to straighten up and fly right when it comes to my diet...
  • Em's wedding, which is just 6 weeks away (I'd love to lose 10 lbs. by then)
  • A formal engagement party that is 8 weeks away.  And by formal I mean very shi-shi at a yacht club - cocktail attire, etc.
  • Black belt testing that will take place some time in December
Not to mention facing seasonal clothing changeover very soon (sooner than I'd like) and once again being worried about  last year's clothing fitting properly

And yet, I cannot seem to get my freak flag to fly and just do it.

I spent a good chunk of August thinking about how I wanted to proceed so that I can be done with this and consider myself a maintenance blogger.  Not that I don't think some vigilance is required in maintenance, but I've got to get there first.  So, I sort of instituted a plan the last week of August - even though my foot still hurts.  Why sort of?  Because  I do quite well for 3-4 days at a time and then everything just goes to hell in a handbasket. Which promptly undoes the good days.  And that is annoying the heck out of me!

 If I could figure it out, I would, and I'd stop it. So far I haven't been able to but I do keep trying. Believe me, when I'm struggling to get through a run or a Muay Thai class because of how heavy I feel am, I make all sorts of new resolutions that I'm just going to buckle down and do it. And I do.  For 3-4 days and then....

I'm making my own self crazy.

Nike had a great marketing campaign with JUST DO IT. You know why?  Because there comes a time when all the plans, dreams, thoughts, etc. have to be put into action.  You have to Just Do It.

How to get myself to just do it is another story.  So, if you're reading this and you've ever had a setback and figured out how to snap back to it and do it, please share with me in the comments below.  I am not looking for tips like "drink more water" etc., I want to know HOW you made yourself start to do it and keep on consistently.

If you're not in that place and you're struggling like I am, take this post and know you're not alone.  Oh, and please comment and say anything you'd like.

35 comments:

  1. While I won't say I'm struggling, I am in some weird place of non-motivation. I'm not cycling as much as I should - just don't seem to want to do it. And I'm not eating as I should. So today, I get to concentrate not on the big picture and all the shoulds, but just doing the one next right thing. What is the next right thing for me to do? What is that ONE thing?

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    1. I love and often employ the next best thing... the one thing theory. Unfortunately while medicating with food the next best thing answer has too often been potato chips or cake. I guess I need to learn to drown out the pain 'talking' so that my decisions are better.

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  2. Oh Helen, I feel like I am reading the story of the past few months for me. I have been really, really, really struggling to get back on track. I think back what was different when I was doing well with my journey and the only thing I find different is my mindset. I think Just Do It says it all and I will have to start thinking of that more and more. Thanks for this post.

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    1. My issue is that I "feel" motivated yet my actions don't follow through. May we both figure it out Katrin.

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  3. Thinking back, I had a couple of different things that would keep me motivated. Sometimes it was a specific event, or knowing that I was going to see someone who I hadn't seen in years, and I wanted to look as good as I possibly could for those instances.

    The other, which happened much more often, was that I really would do the "just for today" thing with the diet...keeping myself honest for that one day, with the promise that the next day, if I felt like it, I could eat the thing that I was wanting. Usually, delaying the food reward worked - I didn't want it as badly the next day, plus I had a successful day and I didn't want to undo that progress. And those days would eventually build onto each other.

    It's a real bugger when you lose your mojo. I swear I lost mine for years...but damn, it sure feels good when you get it back. My wish for you is that yours comes back, soon, and with a vengeance!

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    1. Events are fine in the short term but I need to follow all the way through. Just for today is a really good strategy. I need to go back and read some of your archives.

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  4. I'm not of any help here. I don't mention it much on my blog but I'm struggling for months too. I'm too heavy, I don't gain but I don't lose either but I'm kind of sick of talking about it and that's why I don't.

    Like you I can have 3 or 4 good days and then I throw it all away.

    I have no solution and keep reading the comments here, maybe one of them can help me too.

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    1. I completely understand being sick of talking (and thinking) about it!

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  5. I wish I could figure it out too Helen! Since I did my 5k yesterday, I've kept my food in check - so that's what I am going to try this week - even though my stamina is no where near where it was, this week my motivation is to move, and hope that the food follows.

    Sending you big hugs!!

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    1. Well we all know exercise isn't my issue. I hope that your continued movement brings you success though.

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  6. Thanks so much for your honesty Helen. It's hard for me to be as honest, because I haven't had true motivation and any measurable success in the weight loss realm in about 2 years. Because of my lack of at least a few months of "working it, losing it...", I feel like any negativity must elicit a major eye roll, at best, from readers. That shouldn't matter at all.

    Your post helps me a lot. Like you, I keep working on it and wishing true motivation would at last settle in and stay for the duration!

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    1. It shouldn't matter at all Leslie. If readers don't want to hear it/read it anymore, they won't. You do what's best for YOU.

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  7. A year ago I lost 44 of the 60 I wanted to lose and then life happened and I started to eat for comfort. I’ve regained 31 pounds and I hate the way I feel both physically and emotionally so I decided to do something drastic and jumped into the Whole 30 on September 1. I’m only one week in so this may be the “honeymoon” talking, but I feel so much better. I liked the plan because it was totally non-negotiable which is comfortable to be right now. Best of luck on finding what works for you, and your success last year is partly what pushed me in the direction of the paleo lifestyle, so thanks!

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    1. Mary, I have no doubt that you feel so much better. The Whole 30 is a great detox. I've been pondering doing it again myself but I need to get in the right place - both mentally and calendar wise - so that I'm set up for success. Only 20 more days to go for you!

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  8. I have lots of thoughts on this, but they're all miss-mashed together. Maybe it'll make me sit down and write a post.

    Jill (sassypear.com) asked a similar question a bit ago, and I told her I thought maybe it was the accountability and structure provided by W.W. Mostly, I said, I thought it was a blooming miracle that I had lost any weight.

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    1. Thanks for pointing me to Jill's blog. It was interesting to read what people had written in response to her question!

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  9. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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    1. Dagny, no offense, but I removed your post. If you would like to help me and others reading, please feel free to leave a comment with some advice. I do not want my blog used for advertising or solicitation. Thank you.

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    2. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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    3. See my response to your first post. Stop posting advertisements on MY BLOG.

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  10. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  11. I think for me it's forgetting about the end result and focusing on the process. If you think - I have to eat and 'behave' so I can be at a certain weight by a certain time, that can set you up for failure. I don't do so well with time goals (I almost never make them), so I try to think more about the process that it takes to get to that goal and going 1 day at a time.

    I know you didn't really want a tip like this, but it might be helpful. If you get off course on day 3 or 4, plan something for that day that can help you. Like giving yourself permission to have a higher calorie day every 3 or 4 days to try to ward off a binge so you aren't pushing against yourself so hard.

    Another thing that helps? Looking at my old pictures. I don't ever, ever want to go back there again and sometimes I just need a good old shot of fear to get me moving again.

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    1. See now here's you seconding what Shelley said: one day at a time. I don't mind your tip because I think that it may have actually be something that you use. I just didn't want anyone to tell me to drink more water lol!

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  12. You know I am also a victim of the backslide. More times than I like! It's more like a spiral than a backslide. And it's dam hard to stop! I know what it takes to get where I want to be. I've decided that getting there is about 95% mental energy. And it takes a steel mind to do it. I can do it but when I start getting close to where I want to be I think I get scared, and that will start a mini spiral then all hell breaks loose.
    Hang in there. I know you can do it!

    xo,
    Linda

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    1. First Katrin said it's a mindset and now you say it's 95% mental. I know this is true for my running. I might need to look to applying some of my running tricks to my diet.

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  13. I continue to struggle with this myslef Helen. Food is my drug of choice and so readily available - plus I am a pretty darm good cook!

    When I eat lower carb that does keep the carb cravings away. So it's not my food plan that is the issue. When I am super upset or feeling down it's food that I seek out to comfort myself. It doesn't matter what my food plan is, eating soothes the feelings, numbs me and distracts me so I don't feel anything- at least for the moment.

    Trust me when I tell you that I have had some of these days over the past month since I am dealing with chronic foot pain, lack of exercise, an empty nest and a whole lot of emotions. My brain wants to take me back to my old way of coping - which is to eat.

    Like Lori photos of myself always seem to bring me back to wanting to do better.

    What can sometimes work for me when I feel like diving head first into the pantry is like what Shelly talked about. I tell myself that I won't give in to eating outside of my food plan today but if I still want to eat like a crazy woman tomorrow I will let myself. It's the reverse of telling meself I can eat off plan today, throw caution to the wind, binge and tomorrow I will start fresh. Which for me can lead to weeks or even months of eating off plan!

    Usually the desire to devour the contents of the pantry goes away in less than thirty minutes and I am always relieved that I didn't give in. Of course this hasn't worked everytime for me in the last month, sometimes I have given in to temptation.

    I have a guided imagery cd for weight loss that helps change my negatigve internal dialogue and I think it's time to get it out and recharge my thought process. Negative self talk is powerful - it can set us up for failure. There is a saying "where your mind goes your body follows." I know it is true for me.


    I try to remember that I have never regretted something I didn't eat.

    If motivation could be put in a pill I would be first in line to get a lifetime supply as it relates to my weight and emotional eating. I'm still working on it and sometimes I think I will always be working on it. That's okay because I refuse to give up.

    It just helps to know that other people also struggle with this issue of emotional eating.

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    1. The empty nest thing is very hard - at least at the beginning. It gets better.

      Start right now and then you can blow it tomorrow if you still want to. I love this reverse thinking!

      Thank you for sharing Tami.

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  14. It sure seems like many of us are struggling at the moment. Either with motivation, commitment or life in general. I love reading everyone's comments and seeing what works for them. Hang in Helen!!! Hugs

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  15. I'm agreeing with you -- the you that knows what needs to be done. I'm also remembering the other side when I went two long years not at goal because I let the stress of my job influence how I ate. I know for sure that a lot of this is mental. I have to be fully invested mentally or I mess up. Here's hoping you can "Just Do It." Good luck. :)

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  16. I agree with Tami...when we start to tell ourselves that we can't have xyz, we want xyz. But if we're always allowed to have it, we may decide we don't actually want it. Another thing I have been working on is to sloooooow down when I am eating. We were away for a few days for our anniversary (and you have to read my latest post on facing a fear I didn't even know I had) and I really focused on eating slowly and enjoying my meals without interruption or distraction. It's amazing how, when we're not in our regular routines, we can notice the difference. And here's the thing: all the research suggests that when we make a point of slowing down, reducing our stress, etc. etc., what we eat nourishes us faster than when we eat under stress....we're more satisfied with less. This is something I constantly need to remind myself of!

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  17. I think there's an ebb and flow to life that can catch us and put us in a difficult spot. Here's to taking care of ourselves, working to reduce our stress, and supporting one another! I appreciated your advice to me about facing my fear of falling again. Thanks, Helen, and my best to you too...

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  18. AMEN TO THE NOTION OF EBB AND FLOW.
    Im a weetad stuck right now.
    the flag is out and it's flying but in a saggy droop fashion.

    xoxoxox

    Miz

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  19. Never happens to me......oh wait, I had to stop....I was laughing too hard to type.....

    Wanna Whole 30 with me?

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  20. As you know from my posts, I'm with you. I hope I pull it together soon. I'm rooting for you, Helen. And I will let you know if I have any big revelations. At least I am walking more.

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