Wednesday, March 26, 2014

I Have Questions, You (Maybe) Have Answers

1. If you are humming along and everything in your life is clicking and meshing and then a wrench gets thrown into the works and completely derails you, how do you get back on track or back to where you're clicking again?

2. If you set a goal and then see that you are not going to make that goal, how do you handle that?

3. If you feel you have a lot of stress, besides exercise, what do you do to relieve it?

4. At what point do you say enough is enough and completely re-evaluate (stop, give up, whatever you want to call it)?

These questions could apply to many areas of life - in fact, for me they do. Do me a favor and please don't answer that you don't set goals or don't have stress, etc. Just don't answer that question if that's the case. I'm looking to people who do (or have) experienced these things!


  1. Ive been thinking about you, too, since I spied your FB update last night....

  2. 1. Allow time and space for reflecting and regrouping. 2. At no time, repeat never, beat yourself up or be mean to yourself. 3. Forgive yourself, accept what is, modify goals where needed, ask for help (which you're doing here, you smart person!), and carry on.

    When I'm stressed more than my usual tightly coiled spring of a self, I go to an AA meeting. Works wonders. The only requirement is a desire to stop drinking. Only for a day.

    Finally, things will shift. They always do. Not always as we'd like, but everything changes. Hugs. So glad you're posting!!

  3. Smart to say don't answer the question if it's not the case, you get no answers from that. That said: I can't help you this time because I don't have the answers. Sorry.

  4. 1. Usually I need to make lists of things, particularly planning out my eating for the next day. I also talk things over with John (or someone else) to bounce ideas and get a fresh perspective on stuff.

    2. You know that I do monthly goals. I don't expect to hit all of them 100% because that would mean I set the bar too low. I think having more than 1 goal helps because then I don't have all my eggs in one basket and be disappointed not to get there. I also reflect a lot on why I didn't achieve the goal and use that as a springboard for improvements. I never beat myself up for not reaching a goal.

    3. Ummmm... eating? I guess that isn't helpful advice to you, though. Stress eating is my biggest pitfall. Again, going out to a coffee shop and talking helps relieve a lot of stress for me.

    4. I tend to stick to things if what I am doing is good for me to keep doing. It may not be yielding results, but it isn't harming. Then I look for small changes to make and see what happens. When things aren't working - you have to decide if you would be happy living with what you need to be doing to make a change or if it would make you miserable.

  5. 1. Depends on the wrench. If it's something like an injury, I rage a bit at the unfairness of life and then move into the taking care stage...and by that, I mean doing whatever it takes to get better. I also try to treat myself with excessive kindness...I think of how my best friend would care for me during that time, and I try to emulate her. I also occasionally rage during that process, but giving myself permission to take whatever time I need to get better/back on track keeps me pretty calm.

    2. I go with plan B. Or plan C, D or E! Amazingly, when I'm able to let go of something, I usually enjoy the secondary plan quite a bit.

    3. It's hard to say because what works for me might not work for you. I find losing myself in a knitting project really helps. It gives me something to concentrate on and I also end up with a finished product that I can feel good about. So I guess I'd give a general "hobby" answer for that one.

    4. Haha, now. Oh wait, we were talking about you. ;) Seriously though, I'm one of he worst when it comes to doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. All I can say (and I know you know this all too well) is that life is too short to spend it stressed and unhappy. Do whatever it takes, even if that means stepping outside of your comfort zone, to live the life and be the person you want to be.

    1. I loved the last line of this comment Shelley!

  6. You already got some really great suggestions Helen. I'll add my bits and pieces just in case they might help.

    1. Pray. Read my Bible, looking for answers. Talk to my BF. Stew about it. Repeat. Realize the stewing about it doesn't help and try to eliminate that part of the process. Repeat.

    3. I retired. Seriously, I didn't think I could take another day of work. So I went to the retirement counselor. She convinced me that if I could hold out for another 2 years, it would be much better. Having an end date helped me to bear the stress.

    4. I can't beat Shelley's and Lori's advice. In fact, I might copy and keep what they said for future reference for myself.

  7. The only I have to add for stress reduction is laughter. Find something that makes you laugh and do it/watch it/listen to it - per Martha Beck and The Joy Diet.

  8. It's funny because I was actually thinking about you last night. I have so many "things" I want to do: read up on photography/cook more/recipe develop/keeping up with housekeeping/exercise, etc. I am putting so much pressure on myself that I've decided that I can't do it all right now. With two jobs, I need to slow down and not beat myself up. I remembered you being all stressed out about stuff and your husband was cool as a cucumber, because he didn't realize how much pressure you put on yourself until you snapped.

    So I've decided to do my blog only 3 days a week starting next week. That way I can fit in all the other stuff I want to do.

    I don't have the answers for you, but I am sending big hugs your way!

  9. Really difficult questions!!
    1.In the words of the ever popular Nike Slogan....Just do it. Remember why you were doing it in the first place....recapture those feelings. And fake it until you make it!

    2.I try to not set goals and instead challenge myself to see if I can succeed at something. If I don't meet my challenge I just try again, with ore knowledge that helps me make my challenge!

    3. I read.....I lost myself in a book!!!!

    4. I think for me it's a constant evaluation process. Constantly saying "is this working for me' constantly adjusting my plans and methods!