Tuesday, January 13, 2015

One Big Ball of Frustration.

Well, that about describes how things have been feeling lately.  I think it's the great storm of many areas of my life being unsettled with no settling down in the near future to be seen.

While Little Helen finally picked a wedding date, signed a contract for a venue and began the process of putting some things together, within a week they had backed out of everything, and now everything is up in the air again.  In all honestly, they just want to be married - and they want to have a celebration of some sort - but can't seem to settle down enough to agree on who, if anyone, should be present and how much they want to spend.

At this point, Mr. Helen has to turn in his vacation request for 2015.  He is the senior person in his department so everyone else has to wait until his requests are in.  I have this great underlying fear that he will not be able to participate in some of the wedding fesivities (if, indeed, they happen at all) due to Little Helen's indecision.  I know I need to just let this go but it has remained a big knot in my stomach.

Then there's our nutty weather.  They keep telling us it's way below normal temps.  Granted, I realize there are other parts of the country that are much worse, but that is why I don't live there!!! With the inescapable cold and darkness, it makes my morning workouts feel... junky.  When I got done working out yesterday morning, I just felt like I'd wasted my time.  Almost as if I can't work out hard enough because it's so cold. My old body seems to need more time to warm up and want to go in the mornings as well.  Why, oh why, do I have to work?  I wish the lottery gods would answer my prayers!

Adding to all that is something very stupid.  The food tracking I'm doing for the nutritionist is making me feel like I'm on a diet.  I mean, in a way, I am because she is tweaking my diet to see if we can get my metabolism started.  But truth be told, I am eating a lot more than I was before so in that way it doesn't feel like a diet.  It's something about the food tracking .  It making me worry about what I'm eating and if I'm hitting my macros, even though I'm not supposed to.  And that is making me grumpy.  I'm not even sure what to do about this except text and email her which is what she said to do if I'm feeling this way.  She's great and answers me right back and is quite encouraging but I HATE FEELING DIETY.  (Yes I just yelled.) And I've already warned her that feeling this way is not good because when I weigh myself if I don't see what I think I should, I will probably have a hissy fit.

It's funny how all of these things are really nothing I can control and yet I let them bother me.  I know I need to relax and let them all go.  I just wish I could figure out how.

19 comments:

  1. First to the last thing: exactly why I never will do any tracking anymore. I get so grumpy from it because it feels like a diet even if I only track to know what I am eating.

    As for the weather: sucks that it's so much colder. Although we have a pretty mild winter here I also have trouble getting up in the morning these days. Let's hope Spring will be here soon.

    As for the first why doesn't little Helen at least set a date? I know it's her day and her wedding but she knows that mr. Helen has to turn his request, right? And I suppose she wants him to be there? Details for the wedding can be filled in later but it would be nice to know a date so everyone can arrange days off.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm with Fran on this one - the betrothed couple needs to pick a date (and stick with it). It's not fair to put that kind of stress (can Mr. H get off work??) on you guys.

      Delete
  2. I understand your frustration. You have lots of things going on right now, and for those of us who struggle with weight maintenance and weight loss, these are the times (weather, family events, etc.) that can be precarious. I also will not track because I have always found it to be counter productive. I'm better off to have an eating routine, usually with the same foods or food types each day, at the same times. It gives me some structure, but does away with my thinking too much about what I'm eating. Our weather is terrible here too, and people are definitely grumpy and maybe a bit depressed. I'm always glad when January is over and we get into milder weather, even though it's still winter. Best of luck to you on all of your upcoming events and decisions. Take care, Helen.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Jane. I think I feel this way every single January so it shouldn't be a surprise. We actually tend to have our coldest and worst weather in February but who knows this year? At least it's not snowing buckets like it did last year!

      Delete
  3. Re: the cold weather, is it possible for you to join a gym with a month-to-month membership? I know running on a treadmill is nobody's favorite thing to do, but it would be warm. Or you could use the ellipticals and stair steppers for some cross training.

    If you can only run outside, I really recommend the Cold Gear compression tights by Under Armour. I'm not sure how cold it is where you are, but I have run 5k in 40 degree weather with them and they kept me warm. I use the gloves, too.

    Don't worry, spring is on its way :) Just modify what already works for you until it gets here.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Monique, nice to meet you. You must be a fairly new reader? I hate, HATE gyms - have joined and quit them many times. I won't join a gym again unless I have to for medical reasons. I also own my own treadmill and use it regularly during the winter especially. Where I live the real temps have been running in the teens and the windchills below zero - most of the time at least -10 or so with a few nights where it went to -25+. I am an experienced runner and have allllll the gear I need. So, it's not any of that, it's just the cold and dark wearing on me.

      Delete
    2. Yes, new reader :) So sorry about the cold temps! I'm in central California so 40 is about as low as it gets lol. Good luck getting through the winter and I can't wait to keep reading!

      Delete
  4. So sorry you are feeling this way Helen, but I know you are a planner and it's hard to do that when you aren't the one in control.

    It's funny - over the weekend I was with my Mom and Aunt. Mind you, my Mom is 74 and my Aunt is 69 - and they may both be overweight by about 10 pounds at most, and they are both talking about WW. I hope to hell when I am that age I am not counting points and counting calories! But then part of me is like "you've done that the last 15 years, what makes you think you'll ever stop?" Frustrating.

    Sending warm weather your way - not from here mind you - it was 0 degrees when I left the house this morning. :(

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Exactly Biz. I'm not doing it at 70. In fact, I already told the nutritionist she's my last hurrah. If her macro thing doesn't work, that's it for me trying any more because I had gotten to a peaceful place that I liked!

      Delete
  5. Not having control of a situation is hard to deal with for anyone. Mr. Helen is just going to have to request his time and hope the chips fall where you want them too. It is hard when a lot of dominos are waiting to fall based upon the single one to start, but sometimes you just have to move your own. Little Helen also must know that what she does or doesn't do will have consequences that she may not like (i.e, Mr. Helen not being able to attend), but that is also her choice. And you never know, they may just JOP and call it a day.

    The cold has been bad, but still not quite like it was last year where it was just so, so terrible with huge amounts of snow. Maybe because our new house is not drafty, but I don't seem so chilled. I am not warm, though. I can ride my bike for 30 minutes and not even break a sweat - it just gets me feeling comfortable LOL!

    Remember when you did that Dr. Oz plan last year and it was for something like 28 days (I can't quite remember). It was pretty strict, but I remember you saying that you could do it since it was for X amount of time. Maybe you could treat logging your food by treating it the same way. You want results, so that means this is part of it and you can deal with it since it won't be forever. It's a piece of the puzzle you need right now.

    :end novel:

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well telling her if she doesn't decide RIGHT NOW is pretty much where we're at... and I know she does want Mr. Helen there - maybe even more than she wants me LOL!

      What you've suggested about the tracking is exactly how I am trying to approach it and I've told her that my goal is to get to a way of eating where I do not have to track. It sure is bugging me a lot more than I thought it would.

      Delete
  6. The weather is miserable. Too much cold, too much rain (and here, when it's not raining, it's damp and misty...I thought I lived in Texas, not London!), and put that all with the darkness and it's getting old. I am with you on this complaint.

    I wondered when you had to do traditional "diety" things for your nutritionist, how that would sit with you. I guess I have my answer! It's hard when you get to a good mental place regarding that and then have to go backward in order to HOPEFULLY change things for the better. BTW did you read Jen Lancaster's recent post on how she lost weight? One thing she mentioned was not weighing herself and not focusing on numbers, but working out reasonably and eating better. And it worked for her...but now, she announced that she'd be joining a Biggest Loser competition which included weigh ins - I thought, WHYYYYY? She's going to mess up her healthy living mentality with this. OK that was random but it kind of correlates to your situation.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ooooh I haven't read Jen Lancaster's blog in a while - that's one of the ones I lost the bookmark to when my browser crashed. I'll have to go find that. And yes, WHYYYYYY would she do that to herself?

      Yes indeed the diety things are not sitting well with me. I've been plotting a "one-day no tracking thing" all day today. Just not too sure how it's going to go over when I've only been tracking for 11 days as it is. But if I still feel this way by tonight, I'm telling her that's what I'm doing!

      Delete
  7. Mr. H needs to talk to the bride and groom (if he/you haven't already), explain the dilemma, and say 'please pick a date now, or I will have to. And if that date conflicts with anything later, I cannot help it.'

    They might want to go with a Vegas wedding and a big party slightly later. Many do that, and it's a nice alternative. :)

    Sorry about the weather!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh they're definitely thinking of a party at a later date. The issue is getting them to decide on the vow exchange date. We pretty much told her it's now or never so now we have to wait for an answer - or not!

      Delete
  8. Oh, that people setting dates/my vacation request is due used to DRIVE ME NUTS! But finally, I just decided I needed to make my request, and deal with their stuff when they got around to it. If I could trade days, I did that. But sometimes I just had to miss it. I tell you, it DROVE ME NUTS.

    And the cold. I don't know how you do it. Had to laugh at Monique's comment--our CA version of cold is a little different than yours. But for us, yes, 40 degrees is cold!

    ReplyDelete
  9. ahhh yes.
    I was asked to do an article for a mag tracking my food.
    I did.
    2 days.
    then I BEGAN TO REBEL which so isnt me.
    tracking makes me a rebel.
    xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  10. So much up in the air....and so much cold air! No wonder you feel frustrated. Hang in there Helen!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Hey there, just wanted to say hi and I am happy to see you still blogging after following you awhile back. Sorry to hear about the frustrations. I'm in the same boat, not knowing how to just be happy and not feel like I want to control everything. Keep us posted :)

    ReplyDelete