Thursday, April 2, 2015

Right Back Where We Started From

My 12 weeks with the nutritionist is said and done.  At my last weigh in I weighed exactly what I did the day I started.  In between, I lost 3 pounds then slowly gained until I was 5 pounds heavier than my starting weight.  Then lost back down to that weight.

When I sent her my final weigh in, I said, "I know I've been sick all week and haven't exercised a lick since last Monday but I was also eating 1200 or calories or so every day because I wasn't feeling well. In fact, there were some days when you asked me to eat more because it was so low. I mean really that should have equaled weight loss. Whatever.  And so, now you know exactly what I've been doing for a very long time now... round and round, upside down. And now you also know why I just stopped the madness and quit tracking.  I mean if I can not track and just eat and exercise and weigh this weight or I can track, count every bite I put into my mouth and weigh this weight, well....  the whole process is exhausting."

It's easy to blame my thyroid, which is almost what she did when she emailed me back, but the point was I KNOW my thyroid is an issue and you're supposed to help me figure that out.  She did say that she feels my metabolism is seriously stuck, even eating about 1400 calories a day and exercising 5 days a week, then she apologized that she couldn't seem to help. Funny (not ha ha but ironically funny), I'm the first person she's ever taken on that was unable to lose weight.  I'm her first failure.  I'M NUMBER ONE!! Go, me.

She really wanted me to try another 12 weeks but I'm choosing not to at this time. Even though my doctor is adjusting my medications it takes a while for that to kick in and honestly, I don't have much faith in that anyway. I've worked very hard in the last year to stop the dieting madness and mentality and the whole process had begun to make me feel crazed.

I do have some disappointments surrounding this.  You know how when you begin you are optimistic?  I'm more of a glass half empty type of person but I allowed myself to think glass half full and even believed that I might be able to lose about 10% of my weight over the course of the 12 weeks.  That gave me some pictures in my head as to the possibilities for the beautiful dresses I might buy in July for Little Helen's wedding (contingent on slow but steady weight loss).  At my current size I'm pretty sure I can't even shop at the place where I wanted to get my dress, so I've got to let that go and make peace with it.

Of course I'm also disappointed because I was hoping for improvements in my overall health instead of the sort of distastrous visit I had with the doctor.  Another thing I need to just face and make peace with.

In any case, I'm right back where I started with no more clarity than I had in January.  I wish it was where I started pre-thyroid disease, but it's just not.  I may never get to be there again.

10 comments:

  1. I agree that you do not need to re-up for another 12 weeks with the nutritionist - it was an interesting experiment, but I wonder if you ended up moving backward. Not weight-wise, but in how well you were doing with feeling good about your overall healthy lifestyle. It's so much nicer to not be stressing over every calorie, especially when it doesn't make any damn difference!

    I am frustrated for you.

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  2. Not all nutritionists are created equal either Helen, maybe some time in the future you can find another one that actually listens to you?!

    Sorry about being where you were January 1. I am with Shelley, I am frustrated for you. Sending big hugs!

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  3. Sorry you are disappointed with the results. I'm adding myself to the list of people frustrated for you. I "GRRR" for you, and send a giant supportive hug!

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  4. Let me add myself to the group of friends who are feeling frustrated for you! I hope you get back to where you're happy with your overall health and abilities, calories be damned!

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  5. I'll join the support group!

    You are right not to do another round of 12 weeks. As Shelley said you were doing so well with your food and health. I think the most important thing is to feel good about yourself now, no matter what weight that is and enjoy all the beautiful things that will happen in your life this year like Mr. Helens birthday party and Little Helen's wedding. It would be sad if you look back at that and realized you didn't enjoy it because you let your weight control it.

    Keep doing what you are doing, you are doing the right things.

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  6. I'm not sure what all you have tried to do to lose weight or how long this has been going on but I have some thoughts to share. Is it possible you have a food allergy of some kind that is keeping your weight up? Also is it possible that you work out so hard and so much that it is over stressing your body?
    The reason I bring it up is because like you I was exercising very hard 5x a week with the cardio plus 2x weight lifting and my weight actually went up. Plus I learned that I had a food allergy and when I removed that from what I was eating I felt physically better than I had in years. As recently as last fall when I turned 50 I stopped the running completely now I walk just 2 miles 4 days a week, I only lift weights 1 day a week. I reincorporated good fat in my diet in the form of avocado and almonds. I think high carb diets with low fat are not good for our metabolism especially after menopause. I almost forgot to say that I have dropped 13 pounds since October w/o "dieting". My food philosophy is eat real food, food that comes from a mother or a plant or tree. I hope that you find the answer that you are looking for. I remember that you lost weight on vacation so that makes me think maybe you really do work out to hard. Good luck if you have questions please feel free to email me. Take care.

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  7. I don't know that you are really back where you started. Maybe weight wise, but I think this certainly has solidified things for you. 12 more weeks isn't going to help you much there. You might want to try reading up on some stuff by Leigh Peele about damaged metabolism. Once you get past her selling hype, the info is actually quite good.

    Whatever you do, your mental state is way more important than your physical state and it seems your body responds to that (ie losing weight on vacation).

    Hugs to you.

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  8. A different spin: thyroid issues, "woman of a certain age," some serious birthday celebrating, and you didn't GAIN weight in the last three months? That is a WIN in my books (not that I'm having an issue with that myself :) )

    Also, Helen, you are a beautiful woman, you will find a beautiful dress, and you will be a stunning mother of the bride.

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  9. I read your post last Thursday, I didn't know what to say. I still have no idea.

    My daughter just started working with a nutritionist, first thing she was told, stop tracking your food. My daughter lost over 100 pounds in 2 years. But in the last 3 years she has been slowly gaining 25 lbs. She is so good, her daily intake of calories should have her losing 4-5 pounds a month. The only good thing about the nutritionist so far is that my girl was so tired and frustrated with the whole thing and she need a "vacation".

    All that to say, I understand your frustration, there is a solution for you that might be out of the regular road, I have no idea what but I'll send you as much positive thoughts as possible.

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  10. I'm so sorry Helen. I understand how you're feeling. It's so frustrating. I just got this new book by Dr. Sarah Gottfreid, The Hormone Reset Diet. I haven't read it yet so I don't know if it would be useful for you. I'm happy to pass it on when I finish it if it seems to have helpful information. Sending positive vibes your way.

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