I seem to have lost my exercise mojo. Besides the awful winter we had, there has just been one thing after another life-wise. I've been thrown off and can't seem to find my way back. We started to get a bit of decent weather then it rained for 4 straight days and the morning temps were down in the 40s. I had to pull some long sleeved shirts and a vest back out of my winter tote. For about a month prior to last week, I'd been lucky to get 3 workouts in. Then this week, when I finally could resume things as normal, it took sheer willpower to run 2 times and get in 3 workouts where I did 2 miles of walking and 30 minutes of strength and core training. Sheer willpower as in I actually told myself 'out loud' that workouts were non-negotiable. I can honestly say I did not enjoy one single workout and spent the whole time wishing I was done. I always wonder what that mental discouragement does to the effects of the workout on the body. In any case, I just felt like I was going through the motions. And then, I woke up on Saturday and had the thought that if I never exercised again, I didn't care. This is so unlike me. Even when my eating has been off to the point where I'd out-eat my exercise, exercise has been my thing. A very weird place for me to be mentally and physically.
I think part of it is my continued discouragement with my weight and size. I'm not gaining or losing, just sort of steadily maintaining the extra weight I don't want. I try not to think about it but most every day as I get dressed, I feel upset about the things I have to wear right now and then I just feel sad about it. Mr. Helen keeps telling me to to just let it go but I can't seem to do that.
I have also been wondering if this BLAH feeling is also the result of not having a vacation yet. Usually we vacation somewhere warm in May but this year put it off until August due to Little Helen's wedding. I keep not wanting to go to work - either job - so I think I'm really missing that break I would have had by now.
Whatever it is, I'm ready for it to be over with. I want to feel better mentally, emotionally, and physically. I'm sick and tired of feeling sick and tired.
The last big thing that needs to be done is to get Mr. Helen to buy a suit. Even though the wedding is about 6 weeks out, it's starting to feel like it's all over but the vows! Which means it's only about 60 days to vacation. Yeah, I'm definitely in countdown mode.