Thursday, April 7, 2016

Not Much Wiggle Room

Monday morning, I was zipping up a winter jacket that I haven't had to wear for a few weeks and it felt... looser.  It just felt looser.  So it seems I'm losing some inches even though I haven't been keeping track of that. Because I suddenly wish I'd measured, as I've been doing my spring cleaning I've been looking through old running journals, notebooks, and calendars to see if I had ever taken measurements anywhere near the weight I think I started at.  Based on my up and down history, I'd probably be able to put in a pretty good guess but it would be nice to have facts and numbers to refer to.

I think I'm just getting a little paranoid because I can generally almost tell when my body is releasing weight and lately, I feel a bit stalled.  Based also on my clothing, this is a spot where I seem to often get stalled, so the next few weeks will be telling.  This is where those $5 will really come into play for me.  I mean I realize if I plateau nothing in the world will make me earn those bills until my body is ready, but I'm hoping they'll help me not to just say screw it and give up.

I do take one day a week and eat "anything." For example, while I don't eat dessert most of the time, if I've been craving something desserty throughout the week, I have it that day (usually Saturday).  Of course that is the day I also do my longest run so I'm always hoping that somehow my treats might be somewhat offset by that.

I was reading an article in Parade Magazine about weight loss/maintenance/health in your 40s, 50s, 60s.  Lots of the tips and information were familiar to me, but the one about fruits and vegetables being your best friend, once again illuminated for me that all calories are not equal. How your body processes fruits and vegetables just is not equal to how your body processes cheese and dessert even if you were to eat the same amount of calories of each thing.

When I was rethinking my weight gain this past week, I realized it happened after a holiday meal on Easter.  The previous weight gain happened after birthday week.  And both times I had also taken at least one treat on my indulgence day.

While I certainly do not want to get all diety and limit and/or restrict food after food, I also want to lose weight. I know in my heart of hearts, I will eat pasta forever so I need to figure it all out.  Yet, if I start thinking about that, I get a little crazed so I have to be very, very careful where I go with it.   There was a time in my life where I wanted to weigh 125 pounds and I got myself to the place where I exercised for 60-90 minutes every single day and my eating was so disordered a daily menu looked something like this:

Breakfast: 1 piece of fruit, 1 small container of sugar free, fat free yogurt
Lunch: 1 can of green beans heated and sprayed with fake butter spray
Dinner: 4 oz. of protein, 1 starch (i.e. 1 piece of bread or 1 small potato), 1 dinner salad or 1 cup of steamed vegetable.
Snack (if I had to have one): baby carrots dipped in yogurt dip

I swear, I was eating about 800-1000 calories a day to maintain my weight between 120-125.  It's no wonder my thyroid gave up by my mid-forties!  Anyway, I am saying here that I never, ever want to get into that sort of disordered eating again.  Not ever.  No weight is worth that.

But sometimes I wonder just how indulgent I can be. Debby wrote a really interesting blog about counting, as in logging and counting food groups, calories, etc.  She counted her food on Easter, including her treats and was happy to discover that she'd only gone over by 67 calories.  I know for a fact it would be nothing for me to eat 2.500 calories on a treat "day" which is why right now, I'm trying to keep it to a couple of treats during the day - a martini and dessert.  Because honestly, pretty much, I'm realizing that though I might be eating fairly well most of the time, if I want to lose weight, I really don't have much wiggle room.


  1. It really is annoying to have to be so careful with eating to lose weight...I did not appreciate just how much wiggle room I actually had in my twenties, when I could drop 10 pounds by not doing all that much. I think we should get effort points on the scale once you hit your mid-forties; you are not alone in your struggle, that much I know.

    1. I feel like in my 20s and 30s it didn't matter if I ate 200 calories of cake or 200 calories of salad as long as I didn't 'over' eat. Now it does. Wah!

  2. Not much wiggle room--never a truer word was spoken!

    Canned green beans! I used to eat those too!

    I'm lucky that I actually like fruits and vegetables. But its still easy to get lazy and not prep/eat them. I have been trying to add a vegetable of some kind to every lunch for a while. It does seem to keep me full longer, as long as I have a good protein with it.

    1. I love vegetables and am on and off about fruit. But vegetables I have no problem including in every single meal. But I don't want to ONLY eat vegetables. Sometimes I want dessert but be able to continue to lose weight. And that's what I need to figure out.

  3. It's easy to get caught up in the numbers, doesn't it Helen! My Mom who is 75 (almost 76!) is on Weight Watchers - she may be 10 pounds overweight if that - but she's only 4 feet 9 inches tall, so I guess she notices it more. Anywho, sometimes I think "I hope I am not on Weight Watchers when I am 75!" I am still trying to do the "take it a day at a time" approach and hopefully with enough of those days together, it will show a loss on the scale. Hugs!

    1. One of the very reason I am not tracking food in any way, nor looking at what the scale is saying is because I do not want to get caught up in the numbers!

  4. No wiggle room indeed. That wiggle is so small now I have to grease myself with butter to shift around!

  5. I have definitely noticed how much more difficult it is to lose weight now in my 40's versus 10 years ago in my early 30's!

    Congrats on the loose jacket..that is a great NSV!