Tuesday, January 10, 2017

Tuesday Ten Things that Have Changed

1. Debby's post got me thinking about how I've gone back to whole foods, all natural, full-fat style eating.  I credit my experimentation with Paleo-style eating for this.  I found out I could eat nuts, avocado, and even full-fat cheese and the world wouldn't come to an end, nor would I immediately gain a bunch of weight.  I believe this is because I'm ultimately more satisfied with a little of certain things than I ever was with a lot of "diety" foods.

2. I no longer run 1200-1500 miles a year. The years that I quit racing I've seen that go right down to between 800-900 miles a year. I still love to run, but I've accepted that I'm going to run shorter distances and enjoy it rather than be in constant "training for my next race" mode, therefore I don't need to run so much.

3. I've stopped being so all or nothing in various areas of my life.  For example, all through the holidays I enjoyed many treats, both of the sugary type and the adult beverage type.  There was a time come January 2nd I would have made myself stop everything all at once therefore creating a monster to live with.  This year, I decided to attack it in increments:  January 2nd I stopped the daily glass of wine. January 9th (well really January 6th when I grocery shopped) I started working on better balance to my meals - you know making sure there's a protein AND a vegetable on my plate. The next step will be to cut my portions back a bit to see if I can get some more weight off.  I actually think this approach works better for me than trying to do it all at once - and it doesn't feel so punishing.

4. After literally spending 50-ish years of my life attending church (often going several times a week), when Mr. Helen's work schedule changed and he started working on Sundays, I tapered off of all the church going then eventually quit going altogether for the most part.  This might sound terrible to some but I actually don't miss "church." When I feel in need of spirituality, I find a way to have that - and I occasionally go to a church service but without feeling like I "have to" be there.

5.  I no longer say yes to things just because it's a family member asking.  If I don't want to do/participate/attend, I'm just saying no and finding I'm happier for it.

6. I no longer feel like I need a full face of makeup and hair done to go out and run an errand.  I often throw on yoga pants, a jacket, and a hat and go get it done.  Some of this has come about because I have to do the makeup/hair thing every day for work and sometimes I just want a break.  The rest of it has come about because...

7. I no longer give a crap about what people think about me/my looks/my ideas/my politics, etc., etc.  This is a huge freedom that has been given to me in mid-life.

8. I'm discovering I no longer have the need to be right.  For all my growing up years my mother would say, "If you're right, you don't have to prove yourself right."  It's only now that I'm actually understanding that.

9. Even though I'm quite assertive, in the past decade or so, I've learned to hold my tongue. It's just not necessary to say every single thing I'm thinking, even if it might deserve to be said! Along these lines I'm really understanding that the way people act often has to do with things I have no idea is going on in their lives.  So, first compassion, then assertive honesty if things get out of control.

10. I don't feel the need to be attached at the hip to Mr. Helen.  While I very much value our time together and don't have a problem saying it if I feel we've been neglecting our relationship, I don't need to be with him every free minute.  I guess that's maturing in a relationship.

What about you?  Tell me something(s) that have changed for you.


12 comments:

  1. I can relate to so much of what you've written today! I'm doing the same thing with easing off of the holiday treats - but I still have some sugar cookie dough in the fridge and am baking up a few cookies most evenings for Jeff and I until it's gone. Old me would have tossed the dough and gone into complete sugar withdrawal, but meh. A few little cookies aren't going to break the calorie bank.

    And as for the running, you and me both. It's nice to just run for the sake of enjoyment, not stressing over hitting a certain distance or keeping up with training for a race.

    #7: Hell's yes. I've spent so many years being quiet, but I suspect, with how backward our world seems to be going, that I will become a little more vocal in supporting important things.

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    1. I honestly see the absence of going cold turkey as being kinder to myself. And again, I go back to "if I'm eventually going to partake of something, I need to figure it out now." Deprivation does not work for me. And you know it's the same with running - it does not have to be all or nothing and that is something I discovered during the RW streak. A mile counts, even if that's all you do for the day!

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  2. I can relate to so many of these things too. Part of it, at least, seems to be reaching a certain point in life/life experience. A lot of them happened when I turned 50 (I think that's how old you are?) Maybe reaching that age just makes you re-examine everything.

    I'm working on #1. I actually ate avocado twice last week, and am going to eat it tonight! Doing #3 the same as you. Perfect sugarlessness might be good, but its just not going to happen in my lifetime. Better to make peace with that.

    #6. A long time ago, I gave up full make-up because I was so allergic it made me miserable. But I couldn't give up mascara (blonde eyelashes...) and maybe vanity :) Anyway, the mascara eventually also made my eyes hurt. Its been less than a year that I gave that up, and finally, I'm fine with that!

    #8 & 9. Oh yes. I can so relate. And it was about when I was 50 that I finally learned I didn't have to fight to be right. And the compassion, its coming along...

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    1. I'm actually turning 57 in March even though I can hardly believe it! But I will say, I do believe that a lot of these things have come about in the last 7 years - gifts of the fifties decade. Also, the switch back to full fat foods and mostly sugar didn't come on overnight. There definitely was a mental process to it! As with my splenda laden iced tea, it is definitely a process.

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  3. Loved this post Helen! #5 - love it. And you know what I am finding I am doing? Trying to bring food to people at my new job! Gah - I stopped before I even started, because I know then I would feel obligated to do it, and there goes the fun of it.

    Now I only bring lunch for myself and let people oogle it and make them feel jealous!

    I can't believe I'll be 49 in March and my baby will be 25 in March! Where does the time go :D

    Hugs!

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    1. Have you ever thought of doing a lunch club with your coworkers. You can do it so everyone brings a coordinated ingredient for the meal or so that one person takes a turn cooking for everyone in the group. It's fun!

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  4. " I no longer give a crap about what people think about me/my looks/my ideas/my politics, etc., etc. This is a huge freedom that has been given to me in mid-life."

    Yes. I care not about this stuff. I'm also not going to be quiet about things I'm thinking anymore. I've always tended to not say stuff because I don't want to be bothered with drama, but not anymore.

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    1. Not speaking is a pick your battle thing for me. Some things aren't worth addressing but there are definite things I will not longer keep silent about!

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  5. There is something so freeing about being in the 50s! I wish I had this confidence and comfort with myself when I was younger.

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  6. Long time reader. Great post. I agree completely. :)

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  7. Point 2 and 9 are things that have changed for me over the years too.

    As for make-up: since I dress up for work every work day, including make-up, I never wear it at the weekend unless I go out. And I hardly ever wear jeans to work so that's my outfit at the weekend.
    My late night walks with Bella are always done in a sweatpants because I change in that after dinner.

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  8. Ditto what Patti M said. I am a long time reader and really enjoyed this post. I'm right there with you.

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